Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Mr P-niss Endorses Sarah the Guiding Star: Write-In Palin for President 2008 

farmer note: The following was submitted by Mr. P-niss.

My old pal Mr. P-niss has aked me to post this to the SBL on his behalf and I have agreed to do so. Unedited.

So, without any further explanation, off we go.


Mr. P-Niss approves this message

Mr. P-niss salutes Joe the World Net Daily Farah. We are all wingnuts now! And, just like Joe, Mr.P-niss believes that Sarah Palin is the best hope for change and renewal that the Republican party has had in many years. The future of the Republican party now rests with the youthful vigor and confident stewardship and fortunes of the ebullient Governor from Alaska.

Furthermore, given the erratic, often incoherent, and reckless nature of candidate McCain's behavior during this recent campaign - including the keen observation by Mr. Farah that Senator McCain is a "Democrat in Republican garb" - Mr. P-niss has also decided to endorse a write-in vote to elect Sarah Palin the next president of the United States of America. As Joe Farah says, why wait? The future is here!

Farah for Sarah!: Joe the Wingnut endorses Sarah Palin for President. World Net Daily founder Joe Farah endorses Palin for President.

Listen to Joe tell it:

Sarah Palin for president
Joseph Farah - World Net Daily

The No. 2 question I get in my on-going media tour is: "So who will you vote for Nov. 4 for president?"

Today, I am pleased to announce my write-in choice – drum roll, please.

My vote for president this year is for … Sarah Palin.

Think about it.

McCain is going to win.


It's really just a question of how big McCain wins.

How big do you want him to win?

How much of a mandate do you want to give this Democrat in Republican garb?

How much do you want him to redefine the Republican Party in his own image?

Those are questions to be considering seriously with seven weeks remaining in this campaign.

So what's the best way to keep him honest?

Wouldn't it be great if a significant percentage of voters really expressed their enthusiasm for Sarah Palin by writing her in at the top of the ticket?


Most of those who vote for McCain this year will live to regret it. I believe most of them already know he's not the candidate he is portraying himself as in his bid for the presidency. At least half the Republicans voting for McCain will be holding their nose on Election Day or pretending they're actually voting for Sarah Palin.

Why pretend? Why hold your nose?

Why should we wait for 2012 or 2016?

Let the good times roll now.

Sarah Palin for president in 2008.

Mr. P-Niss approves this message

Sarah Palin is our aurora borealis. Sarah, of the Northern Lights, our shining polar star, promise for a new dawn.

It's not too late - Palin in 2008!

But if John McCain is elected president, those lights, and that shining star, and any promise of a new dawn for the righteous and Godly true conservative cause, will be extinguished for a very long time. If not forever. And an all consuming blindness will fall upon this blessed nation like a white devil in a midnight sun - darkness at dawn - howling winds at midnight - boiling lakes - and the tree of life will shed its leaves and lay silent in a broken barren land. And all we hold dear and true and just and stuff like that will be lost for what will be an eternity or whatever.

Mr. P-niss does not know if John McCain will be inaugurated the next president of the United States on January 20, 2009, but even if Senator McCain and his old boy network did somehow manage to sprint to victory in the home stretch, that victory would ultimately be a trap for Sarah Palin. A trap baited with a poisonous apple she will have been tricked into taking.

John McCain is a political transmutationist. A shiftless shifting switcheroo man.

And all his transformations, barbequed charms, and flyboy devilry, should not be allowed to confuse and mislead the genuine conservative. Not in these dangerous times.

If John McCain, along with his best friend Joe Lieberman - a liberal and McCain VP shortlister who has also cloaked himself in conservative garb to assist his Senate friend from Arizona - are allowed to ascend to power and assume control of the Republican party - if that should be the case - Sarah Palin will be torn from her conservative base like a fishing vessel ripped from its moorings by a terrible storm. Empty nets left in tatters. The conservative fleet and flagship splintered and smashed... and scattered upon the rocky shoals of a McCain beachhead.

When winning is losing

Yes, if John McCain is victorious, Sarah will be the VP, but only in a marginal sense. Sure, she will be trotted out for state dinners and air shows and the occasional senate race in Kentucky or Indiana or wherever, but she will never be allowed to just be Sarah. Or, to be the conservative dynamo and crusader for the real conservative causes that we all know she aspires to be. And is.

And lets not forget: Joe Lieberman was also the year 2000 VP choice and running mate of stealth marxist global warming underground weatherman Al Gore. I don't think I need to connect the dots for you there.

"When I go out, I say, 'I have a lot of respect for Sen. Obama. He's bright. He's eloquent.' Someday, I might even support him for president," - Joe Lieberman

Does that sound like something a conservative would say? That sounds like something a political transmutationist would say. And just as the theory of evolution relies on mutation for change, John McCain and Joe Lieberman and their old boy network in Washington DC rely on political transmutation to deny conservatives their true calling. And that true calling is nothing short of unambiguous unequivocal victory for true conservatism. And Sarah Palin is that clear path to victory.

Listen: As soon as John McCain is sworn in - and all the hooplah becomes so much hooplah under the campaign hooplah bus - Sarah, our Sarah, shining polar star - will be quietly dismissed with a "thanks for all the help rallying the conservative base for McCain" and rewarded with nothing more than a mavericky pat on the fanny from the good old boys hanging around John McCain's Fanny Patter's MSM Flyboy Cigar Parlor. Never heard of it? You will.

"Senator Lieberman, will you see the Vice President to the door." At which point our newly elected VP Ms. Sarah Palin of the great state of Alaska will be handed a four year supply of Swifter Dusters and instructed to run along and tidy up the charts and instruments at the Naval Observatory. "And don't forget to clean the lint from the big navel!" they will chuckle as she is being escoted out the door. "And take the First Moot with ya".

Don't believe it? Well, listen to McCain booster Glenn Harlan Reynolds tell it (from the pages of the New York Times, east coast elite newspaper of record):

Where Does the Vice President Belong?
Published: October 27, 2008

The most important function of a vice president is to serve as a spare president. Using the spare president in the ordinary course of business is as unwise as driving on one's spare tire. Spares should be kept pristine, for when they are really needed.

See what I mean? A spare tire no less.

With Sarah's sure hand no longer anywhere near the tiller of state - but instead hobbled to a Swifter Duster at the Naval Observatory - or, in the case of the Reynolds analogy above, secured away in the trunk of some McCain mobile wheel well below the luggage compartment - the valiant fires of the consevative movement (having been shuffled off to some dank lightless undisclosed location) will be systematically diluted and debased and condemned to smolder and die a terrible hissing death like thousands of drowned embers.

Like some mad King, jealously hoarding the pristine virtues of a goodly maiden, John McCain will order Sarah Palin held captive in some baneful fortified tower high above the craggy cliffs of political influence.

And there she will languish, and whither, wilting among the cinders and spiderwebs, like a Cinderella, Sarah Cinderella. Sarahella. A princess without a people.

You see, if John McCain (and stealth VP Joe Lieberman) are elected, this administration will not only be an epic disaster for the country and the conservative cause, but a tragedy for Sarah Palin's future as a beacon and leader for the conservative movement as well. Exactly as the mad King McCain has planned. And who will be blamed when a McCain administration fails? McCain, surely, but also Sarah Palin. Colin Powell and Christopher Buckley will make sure of that!

And when the rivets start popping and the ball bearings begin to smoke and squeal a terrible metallic squeal and the wheel flys off the wheelhouse and the tiller snaps from the rudder post and the helmsman is running around backwords bellowing rhetorical tropes, main masts snapping, screeching wails and the ricochet of the lash and cat o' nine tails rebounding from the galley, and the whole rattling McRattle Trap Express - now gone to bonkers - jumps the tracks and careens off its rickety bridge to nowhere... when that happens, and mark my word it will (if it hasn't begun already), John McCain will take Sarah Palin off that bridge right along with him. Mixed metaphors and all. Straight into the the boiling lake below. Hissing like a hot tailpipe all the way to the bottom.


For God blessed sake, Sarah Palin is the only person who has the life-spark and vitality to champion the Republican party and the conservative movement away from the abyss for which it now finds itself peering into like one of Hannibal's elephants crossing the Alps. And she can do it. Yes she can.

Sarah has even sparked new vitality in old true Christian conservatives like American Cause founder Pat Buchanan. Who has taken to performing one armed push-ups on TV at the mere mention of Sarah's name. I understand he has been staying up late into the night listening to recordings of Palin's inspired and soaring Republican National Convention acceptance speech while flinging a sharpened rosewood handle Vanguard Alaskan guide knife across the room (like the great champion sideshow impalment artist he is) at a life size portrait of Emile Combes. Pitchfork Pat is back!

Sarah Palin is the fire in the loins of real America.

Even Rich Lowry of the National Review (the guy Ann Coulter called a "girly-man") who was born and raised in the anti-American communist territories of northeastern Virginia is driven, by a simple captivating wink of Sarah Palin's eye, to humping the arm of a sofa like some kind of rutting ungulate.

Not since Katherine Harris trotted her trip the light fantastic charm offensive around Florida's 13th congressional district has any single candidate excited the desires and intuitive biological impulses of the manly conservative base. Not until Sarah Palin walked onto the stage in Minnesota in August 2008.

Harris, an intoxicating tropical nymph by any measure, never quite had the approachable everyman appeal that Sarah Palin has. She was a little too Serendipity Raquet Club. A little too Aspen airport lounge. A littel too Debra Winger circa Urban Cowboy 1980. A little too past the expiration date even for a fling with Steve Forbes.

[Regardless of Steve Forbes, feel free to masturbate in the space provided below]

Peggy Noonan had the "it" in some measure. Once upon a time. But Peggy was too virginal, in a snooty but flirty way. Or out of reach. Or something. I dare say offish. Plus, she never ran for any office, she just liked to shower her affections on the shoes of the powerful as they strode through the doorways of power. And she was always drinking expensive wine and gobbling handfuls of microdot and jetting off to Mexican beaches to ogle the moon and talk to dolphins like some kind of goddamned crazy hippy from a youth hostel. Too many conflicting messages going on there.

With Sarah Palin, you feel like you are in one of those average guy beer commericals, zipping through the pure frosty new fallen snow on a fast snowmachine, drinking beer and tossing the empties at orphaned polar bear cubs as you zoom past at 35 miles per hour, born free, with some hot runaway rogue elf that has escaped from Santa's workshop nestled against your manly chest.


Once you have been Palinated with Sarah Palin Power you will never flirt with the affections of another ever again.

Do you think John McCain, if elected, will punish and turn his back on those so-called Republicans who have tried to destroy Sarah? Like Peggy Noonan! Who thumb their noses at the whole Palin family? Like urban hockey goons from Philadelphia! Who beat her down with contemptible slanders and spurious accusations.

He will not. He will once again embrace the old Washington elite and media insiders as he has always done because they have always been his base. They are the backbone of his elitist Washington support network for which he serves and attends. And they have been so for almost thirty years.

These are the same Washington elitists who now treat Sarah as if she is just some girl from the American hearland who they can have their way with whenever it suits them. They treat her as if she were little more than some pretty arm candy adhornment culled from an escort service and assigned to accompany Senator McCain to some high stepping Georgetown cocktail party. They shower her with expensive clothing and accessories... expensive clothing and accessories she did not request and does not want!

Sarah Palin does not support the redistribution of wealth. Including fancy wardrobe items!

They will try to silence her (and accuse her of premeditated roguery) when she speaks freely and easily about what she knows to be true. Because they are afraid the American people will come to love her even more than they already do. They will try to keep her sequestered from the people because the people see in her their own national salvation. They (whoever they are) call themselves mavericks... but they are mavericks who fear and ridicule Real-Maverickiness(TM). Etc.

And don't think Sarah Palin doesn't know it either. She knows stuff. She can read the seating arrangements on the fancy linen tablecloth topped tables at the fancy arrangements.

And that is why Sarah Palin must flee. Flee for all of us! Flee on a swift snowmachine while leaning into the protective chest of the real-American conservative cause!

Sarah Palin must jump from the Doomed Craziness Express before it is too late. And we must be there to catch and cradle her when she jumps for freedom.

We must be Sarah's first responders, who comes to rescue her from the terrible wicked spell that the poison Mcapple has cast upon her. We must be her prince who returns the glass slipper that was rightfully hers all along. The glass slipper of true conservative values which she was denied in haste when she was forced to flee from the Grand Old Maistream Elitist Media Georgetown Republican Party Ball for fear of being cruely marginalized by her jealous elitist stepsisters Peggy Noonan and Kathleen Parker and the others just like them.

In the end the Palin candidacy is a symptom and expression of a new vulgarization in American politics. It’s no good, not for conservatism and not for the country. ~ Peggy Noonan

See, I told you Peggy was something of a snooty prim. Anyway...

We - all True Conservatives - must return Sarah's slipper to her. Immediately!

We must shoe Sarah's pretty little foot and walk with her side by side, and her alone, to the White House in the year of our Christian Patriot Lord 2008.

We all must jump for freedom with Sarah!

PATRIOT JUMP Sarah Palin is the only person who has the life-spark and vitality to captain the Republican party and the conservative movement away from the doldrums for which it now finds itself hopelessly bound, adrift, sinking, under the old tired command of the transmutationist faux maverick John Sidney McCain and his Washington insider elites. The same so-called conservative elites who even now are plotting to throw Sarah Palin under the grinding wheels of the so-called Strange Talk Express.

I am just a regular P-niss. A common-breeder American God fearin' P-niss in a tattered pair of Carhart overalls. But I speak the truth as I know it. I have seen the power at work. The Palin Power. And I stand here today, stiffly upright and swollen with righteous faith and conviction in my knowledge that a write-in vote for Sarah Palin - The Thrilla' from Wasilla! - The Flower of Palin Power! - Our Sarah of the Guiding Star - You have a Pal in Palin! - is the ONLY write in vote you may ever cast - and the only write-in vote you will never regret.



It should look something like this. But you should try to get all the letters on the line if you can.

Just as Joe the World Net Daily guy says:
Why should we wait for 2012 or 2016? Let the good times roll now.

Sarah Palin for president in 2008.

You betcha'.

Yours in revere,
Mr. P-niss


farmer end note: The views and opinions of Mr P-niss do not necessarily represent the views and opinions or political endorsements of this blog, the Stay Behinder Lounge, its commenters, publishers, authors, or readers. Mr P-niss is, in all truth and fairness, is a character who resides in the great state of Subconcious and lives with two nuts and an asshole right next door.

-------- UPDATE --------

Sarah The ImPaler

Via Booman Tribune:

Jim Nuzzo, a White House aide to the first President Bush, dismissed Mrs Palin's critics as "cocktail party conservatives" who "give aid and comfort to the enemy".

He told The Sunday Telegraph: "There's going to be a bloodbath. A lot of people are going to be excommunicated. David Brooks and David Frum and Peggy Noonan are dead people in the Republican Party. The litmus test will be: where did you stand on Palin?"

Gee, I was only kidding, Sorta (please don't kill Peggy!). But, then again, what the hell...

let the good times roll.


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