Monday, August 11, 2008

Barack Obama's Celebrity Square VIP Vacation Destination 

Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Boggs (aka: Cokie Roberts) would like to offer some vacation destination advice... for the Obama family:
Roberts: …going off this week I know his grandmother lives in Hawaii and I know Hawaii is a state, but it has the look of him going off to some sort of foreign, exotic place. He should be at Myrtle Beach and if he’s going to take a vacation at this time. I just think this is not the time to do that. [via Crooks and Liars]

That's right, a woman with eight fucking names who lives in Bethesda, Maryland and makes a millionaire living blabbering inanities on the tv and radio is going to let you know where to vacation (if you must) so that you don't come off as "some sort of foreign, exotic..." uh, celebrity, wallowing in leisure time, frittering away the days and nights pursuing the uppish whimsy of a caravanning idle youth. Rather, one "should be at Myrtle Beach".

Uh oh.

Celebrity Square, Myrtle Beach, SC.:
Celebrity Square is definitely one of the best places to go for great nightlife while in Myrtle Beach. With all of the clubs next door to each other, it makes for one big party. Be sure you get a Myrtle Beach VIP card to save yourself some cash when you hit the clubs.

Good thinking Cokie Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborne Boggs Roberts. I guess that's why they pay you the big celebrity VIP (Very Important Pundit) bucks.

Personally, I think the Obama's should have joined VIP celebrity David Brooks on the b.o.a.r.d. walk in Ocean City. Or wherever exactly it is the David Brooks family taxonomy collects each very important summer. Where they and the Obama's could play miniture golf and arcade ski-ball and eat funnel cakes in the all American salt water taffy sun. And in the evening they will all return together to the frontier town campground and eat grilled crab cakes and macaroni salad and listen to Dave as he flutters his arms about in the air - chattering like some kind of excitable campground squirrel - and pining longingly for the virtuous sanctity of a dude ranch where a real man-dood can still get a horsey ride "among whispering pines and timberline silences"...and other such piney campfire claptrap. Oh, the piney ponders and predicaments of contemporary vacation-man. And so on.

And, as evening falls and the soft glow of the Coleman Powerhouse dual fuel 2-mantle lanterns are lit, the adults will gather around the picnic table tucked under the screened canopy tent to toss back a few Tom Collins and share a few ha-has and and work together in a spirited bi-partisan vacation effort (as "two summer selves" might do) to assemble a jig-saw puzzel portrait of Ronald Reagan - pictured "among whispering pines and timberline silences" - astride a dude ranch horsey and "winking at a Slovakian girl".

Please do not "eat bratwurst naked on the beach." (see link for "whispering pines and timberline silences" above for further clarification).

Thank you, and aloha ahiahi.


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The Washington Chestnut
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