Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Flattened Penny Express
The continuing perils of The Strait Squawk Express - WaPo
a 600-foot oil tanker collided with a barge on the Mississippi River, creating a 12-mile oil slick and causing diesel fumes to waft over the city's French Quarter. The trip was off.
My friends, I been busted down on Bourbon street, set up like a bowlin' pin, knocked down, it gets to wearin' thin, the Media just wont let me be, oh no. But I'm truckin', got my chips cashed in, keep truckin', like the do-dah man, together, more or less, whatever, everythings fine, just keep truckin' on. Bomb-bomb... bomb-bomb Iran!
He now has no major event to offset Sen. Barack Obama's speech at Berlin's famed Victory Column, where a huge turnout is expected. Instead, he will be in Columbus, Ohio, speaking at a nighttime cancer event.
My friends, unlike my opponent in this race, I am here to speak out against cancer. My opponent in this race, on the other hand, could not be with you this evening because he is campaigning on foreign soil in a foreign country, pandering to an intoxicated mob of worshipful Germans... and I think you all know how that sort of thing turned out the last time someone tried that.
"An extra day spent in Ohio is not really a problem," senior aide Mark Salter said, insisting that a bit of bad luck does not make a trend,...
My friends, if my opponent in this race tries to tell you that spending an extra day in Ohio is bad luck, just tell him I keep a buckeye in each pocket and one or two stored in the left side of my face cheek just so I can remind myself how lucky I am to be in America, in Ohio, beautiful Ohio, the Buckey State, only in America.
McCain, who has been known to carry good-luck talismans -- a pair of L.L. Bean shoes, a feather, a flattened penny -- has had fortune smile on him now and again.
[...] on his recent trip to Colombia, McCain was in the right place at the right time as the government there announced a raid in which long-held hostages were released.
My friends, I know something about being a hostage and I can't recall the last time any hostages were lucky enough to have my opponent in the right place at the right time upon their release? I promise you, when I am President, I will be in the right time at the right place when hostages are taken... released!, I meant to say released... ha, when was the last time hostages were released when I wasn't around somewhere. Whenever you think of hostages being released I want you to think of me, my friends.
As both campaigns look toward their conventions in late August and early September, observers have noted more than once that Obama's speech happens to be scheduled for Aug. 28, the 45th anniversary of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech. McCain's speech, on the other hand, will fall on Sept. 4, the opening night of the NFL season, which features a game between the Washington Redskins and the Super Bowl champion New York Giants.
My friends, fifty one years ago, on this day, E-Day - September 4, 1957 - The Ford Motor Company introduced the Edsel. --- [applause!] --- my friends, when I am elected President...
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