Friday, December 07, 2007
CNN and Glossolalia Productions Presents:
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT0zKjVd6sUVTQshh41YBgR3n-9ZTe6yP_5PifUu8kP70cbQ0Sb0LT7kBcFE8yYKOStshIwEohCgFUvQ5YeBnR9AaZW_SsEUfS65OQEFpgy9cVgdGB8w29g3NOIWbholQGEw7Dxw/s400/islamoterrorvision.png)
A CNN Speculative Documentary Special guaranteed to put the fear of 72 virgins into ya!
Variety:
Intel report sinks CNN Iran special Two-hour 'Nuclear' was slated for Dec. 12
By BRIAN LOWRY
HOLLYWOOD -- The latest National Intelligence Estimate concluding that Iran discontinued its nuclear weapons program four years ago has claimed one casualty: CNN has postponed speculative documentary "We Were Warned -- Iran Goes Nuclear."
The two-hour spec, which was slated for Dec. 12 under the "CNN Presents" banner, was "set partially in the future," featuring a what-if scenario as former government officials -- playing fictional cabinet members -- debate how to deal with the Iranian threat.
That special was "based on a different set of rules and a different set of conditions," said CNN veep-senior exec producer Mark Nelson, noting that the surprising NIE report "changed everything."
The "special", "speculative documentary" ("based on a different set of rules and a different set of conditions,") - whatever the hell that means - featured a "special" allstar action-horror-thriller cast of notable cable tv nooze Woweewood celebrities as well...:
Among those participating in the war-game panel featured as part of "Iran Goes Nuclear" were former CIA director Jim Woolsey, former EPA administrator Christie Todd Whitman and former presidential adviser David Gergen.
Now that's aspecial. Reliable sources I have invented have told me that one controversial scene depicts a sloppy drooling retired speechwriter named Frowzy Gergen and his spooky companion Stealth Woolster getting shitty-faced drunk at a hotel bar as the lovely Violet Whitebirch (played by Christie Todd Whitman, former princess of the Garden State) is seduced by a swarthy Persian cereal salesman who calls himself Steve. And then ... well, nevermind, you get the idea. In any case, that was apparently the documentary part. But, no! -- sadly...
In its place, CNN will this weekend air two Campbell Brown-hosted specials on the Iran situation and its history. Portions of "We Were Warned" correspondent Frank Sesno's original reporting will be incorporated into those hours, which air Saturday and Sunday.
What! Saturday AND Sunday? Two days of cheap editing and snollygoster crank from the wife of Paul Bremmer's personal bellboy! What the fuck? I'd rather watch Wolf Blitzer interview a bowling ball (or vice versa). Or Candy Crowley wrestling a bear on a dood ranch in Canada. On the other hand, maybe Hot Rods To Hell will be on the TCM channel again. I heard that was a good one! A reliable source told me so.
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spec·u·la·tion
n.
1.
a. Contemplation or consideration of a subject; meditation.
b. A conclusion, opinion, or theory reached by conjecture.
c. Reasoning based on inconclusive evidence; conjecture or supposition.
2.
a. Engagement in risky business transactions on the chance of quick or considerable profit.
b. A commercial or financial transaction involving speculation.
doc·u·men·ta·ry
adj.
1. Consisting of, concerning, or based on documents.
2. Presenting facts objectively without editorializing or inserting fictional matter, as in a book or film.
n. pl. doc·u·men·ta·ries
A work, such as a film or television program, presenting political, social, or historical subject matter in a factual and informative manner and often consisting of actual news films or interviews accompanied by narration.
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