Friday, September 02, 2005

Welcome to fabulous Larryland! 

Subject: Prof. Larry Schweikart, University of Dayton. For more on pedagogue Schweikart's latest adventures in discourse see Lambert's post below titled Katrina: Republicans to cities—Go die!.

Professor Larry is apparently quite the piper when it comes to tootling about the Freeperkorp forums like some kind of merry minstrel of free market tough love. See, it's like this: Don Larry frequently holds forth in Freeper creeperville as one "LS" ("Since Feb 4, 1998") and you can read his latest timely ventilations here: LS/Larry Schweikart

Entries include such momentous (and educational) twinkles of smirking repartee as the following exchange - (emphasis below is mine) - with Larry responding to a comment made by someone called "GnuHere"; who observes:
To: LS
Painful as it is, I tuned into the Today show for a few minutes - Carl Quintanilla (sp?) used the phrase "I have to be careful here" (presumably about how he reported the looting and lawlessness, especially not mentioning anyone's race) at least 3 times when reporting from NO about the looting, and he looked very scared.

24 posted on 09/01/2005 7:31:31 AM PDT by GnuHere
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies ]

Because, ya know, mention of "anyone's race" was certainly not evident in any of the recent reporting on unfolding events in New Orleans. Cheery Professor Schweikart (aka: LS) responds:
To: GnuHere
Bwa-hahahah. I can just see this guy: "Katie, the ni . . . . ,er, make that the LOOTERS are everywhere."

29 posted on 09/01/2005 8:01:05 AM PDT by LS (CNN is the Amtrak of news)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies ] here

"the ni . . . . ,er", I don't git it... oh! wait!... Bwa-hahahaha Larry! LOL!!! ... you are like sooooo crafty! Such a cheeky - and politically incorrect - wag! And oh my so very clever. Why I'll bet you're just a regular safety deposit box full of yucks aren't ya? A real cut-up farceur. A regular main attraction at all the snooty-best financially dressed U of D cocktail affairs. I betchya are.

Jeezis...where do they incubate and hatch these pretentious overstuffed elitist right-wing assholes anyway? Don't answer that. Anyway... here's another recent master Larryism (on public safety. Namely flood prevention):
Did New Orleans Catastrophe Have to Happen?
Posted by LS to goldstategop
On News/Activism 08/31/2005 9:10:51 AM PDT · 36 of 148

True: but it's not OUR job to do the "prevention." It's the job of the idiots who live there. I live in a tornado zone, so we will not buy a house without a basement. That would be stupid. I don't expect the feds to subsidize my basement purchase.

Well, yes, of course... I don't suppose someone in, say Vermont, should have to "do" Larry's private basement. Or even subsidize the particulars of prince Larry's various smarter personal "prevention" needs neither. But, as we all must take note, the imaginary public subsidization of lord Larry's personal basement facility somewhere in the vicinity of Dayton Ohio, is, in this case, of course, according to Larry, the equivalent of protecting an entire city of several hundred thousand human beings from the flood waters of the Mississippi Delta. Yes. It all makes sense.

See, it's like this, if all those old people and stupid little children born and raised in the soupy swamps of Nahlins' would come to their senses and purchase their own twenty four foot flood levees - or basements in a tornado hot zone (like, for instance, right next door to Larry) - then the dark stormy clouds roiling above each and every misfortunate soul today would simply disperse like a puff of oily blue smoke carried aloft in a new born breeze and the great mysterious invisible hand would poke a blessed finger down from the free market firmament and touch us all golden. And all the puppies and kitties would sudenly find themselves wearing brand new rhinestone collars too! Yes siree bub. At least as far as Larry and his merry band of laissez faire mystics are concerned. In fact, I'll bet that if the University of Dayton (the "private institution" from which Mr. Larry draws his comfotable gains) didn't accept all that pesky federal funding why Larry boy could probably afford to dig himself two or three or four basements.

Maybe even sell one of em' to one of those poor people from New Orleans who at this very moment might be in the market for a nice dry cellar! Or two! And heck, maybe Larry would even have some big crisp piles of snappy tax free Ben Franklins left over to launch his own private NOAA-style weather satellite into orbit and construct his very own personal privatized tornado early warning siren system right up there on the peak of his own very private flat-tax rooftop. Just as Mr. Larry, master and prophet of his own fabulous Larryland, would want it. Afterall, all a man needs is a solid basement and a cushy job at a major private university within easy driving distance and a good early warning tornado system over his fuzzy wuzzy head and, well, a few other little things, and there ya have it!

Hail, I'll bet the fabulous flat-tax-lander professor could even construct hisself an entire multilinked underground basement realm complete with an underground interstate transportation subway system and telecommunications grid and his own private internets. Even a personal mint for printing real Larry dollars!. All just for Mr Larry and his chosen basement saavy tribe mind you.

And should the occasional rogue tornado happen to scrape one of Dayton's lowly local public elementary schools from the surface of the earth, well, ho-hum. If the miserable tax looting bastards who depend upon such godless fascist arrangements are nice to lord Larry and his privateer heroes maybe the sovereign Larry and his kindred buds will be right there too - emerging on the spot - chipping in like good neighborly self interested sorts to help build a brand new schoolhouse brick by homemade brick with their own bare knuckles and personal gas fired homemade brick kilns. And other up from the bootstrap resource resovoirs of fabulous go-getter design.

Need a little flood "prevention" along the Ohio River? No problemo!...build your own levee! Complete financing available with real Larryland dollars of course! Oh. Yeah. Sure. For surely Mr. Larry's dreams of a shining Larryland on the Stillwater just south of interstate 70 would all come to fruitation if it weren't for all that taxpayer subsidized boodle being squirreled off and lavished on those silly "ni....,er", make that... LOOTERS" in some slough in Louisiana. Jeepers Larry, life is so unfair isn't it? Boo-hoo what's a freewheelin' pennypinch gasconade from Dayton to do!

In any case, keep pragmatic professor Larry Schweikart in mind next Spring when some cyclonic F-4 monster comes roaring down on Larryland. Just south of interstate 70. In the "With God, all things are possible state". Bwa-hahahaha!

More about Professor "LS" Larry including photo (cached "Yorktown University" page)


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