corrente

Crucifixion Coalition Inc. pilot, and chronic strabismus sufferer, Diamond Pat Robertson has - as each and every one of you already know - been vigorously backpaddling his cuckoo-canoe away from the fast and furious white-water thrills and spills of international state sponsored terrorism.

Assassination to be more precise.

Yes siree. And who can blame the crazy cluck. Afterall, once ya start ordering up hits on national television, well, next thing you know everyone will be doin' it. How'd ya like to turn on your tee-vee one sunny morning to find Soledad O'Brien soliciting the assistance of some yet unidentified bravo willing to drag Billy "the haircut" Hemmer into a bathroom stall and strangle him with his own shoelaces? How'd you like that, huh? Don't answer that.

In any case, the Rev Marion Gordon Patrick Robertson, has since, as I noted above, artfully backed away from his previous excitable fulminations. Rather, Robertson, skulking ahead, has now downgraded his earlier call to murder and mayhem to mere kidnapping. Whew.

"I said our special forces should go 'take him out,' and 'take him out' could be a number of things, including kidnapping."

UPDATE: Pat is apparently working his way down the list of potential felonies he might inflict upon the elected leaders of sovereign nations. Listen to what he's saying now:

11:30 pm: "I said our special forces should go 'knock him out,' and 'knock him out' could be a number of things, including aggravated assault."

midnight: "I said our special forces should go 'burn him out,' and 'burn him out' could be a number of things, including arson."

12:20 am: "I said our special forces should go 'bugger him out,' and 'bugger him out' could be a number of things, including rape."

12:50 am: "I said our special forces should go 'bum him out,' and 'bum him out' could be a number of things, including breaking into his apartment and stealing his stereo."

No more bossa nova for you Mr. Hugo!

Jeebus Christo, huh? By 4am Mr. Pat's "special forces" will be issuing citations for the plastic lawn flamingoes in front of Chavez's mango tree. You there in Venuzuela, this is a zoning abomination. Halt in the name of special forces!

By this time tomorrow evening I fully expect the invitation to "take him out" to be fully devalued. Redressed to little more than a fashion violation - or - perhaps - something like this.

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