Friday, July 29, 2005
Them that's GWOT shall get...
So the Bible says, and it still is news...
Yes, Karen Hughes, the newMinister of Truth Associate Under Assistant Uber Secretary of State (or something) for Propaganda Public Affairs is already making an impact!
Sure, Bush screwed the pooch in the Global War on Terror (ports, Iraq clusterfuck makes terrorism worse) but you know what we can do, says Karen? We can rebrand it! That's the kind of thing that suckers will always fall for...
And GWOT sounds so awkward! And all those jokes: Like "They don't know GWOT." It's too much.
So, how about GSAVE? The Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism! (Someone at the WhiteWash House must be a closet Corrente reader; we called for a Campaign Against Fundamentalism (back) in March 2004. Of course, the malAdministration will hijack the name while brutalizing the substance—that is, all fundamentalists are the enemy everywhere... But still.)
So, GSAVE, pretty good. But here's where Karen's real genius shines through. I started wondering—Why Global Struggle? "Global" is so Birkenstock, so earthy crunchy, so global warming... People like Al Gore or that Kerry are global... "Planet"? PSAVE? Karen gets a mental image of Mr. P-****, moves on quickly...
World? World Struggle Against Violent Extremism? Hmm. Like that "World Struggle" thing, sounds like World War, like FDR...
WSAVE?
Now, if Karl Rove weren't hiding under his desk, chewing his hands, he would have rammed that "W" right down all our throats. Never mind all the jokes, like "saved W's narrow ass in two elections."
But Karen is so much more subtle than Karl. She saw that the "SAVE" was the important part. After all, in a Godly White House, what could be more important than being saved—and saving the world? So stick with Global. And speak directly to the base.
That Karen! Always on message!
UPDATE Sometimes things are just too obvious to see. As alert reader pantsonire points out, subliminally:
Speaking directly to the base, alright!
Yes, Karen Hughes, the new
Sure, Bush screwed the pooch in the Global War on Terror (ports, Iraq clusterfuck makes terrorism worse) but you know what we can do, says Karen? We can rebrand it! That's the kind of thing that suckers will always fall for...
And GWOT sounds so awkward! And all those jokes: Like "They don't know GWOT." It's too much.
So, how about GSAVE? The Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism! (Someone at the WhiteWash House must be a closet Corrente reader; we called for a Campaign Against Fundamentalism (back) in March 2004. Of course, the malAdministration will hijack the name while brutalizing the substance—that is, all fundamentalists are the enemy everywhere... But still.)
So, GSAVE, pretty good. But here's where Karen's real genius shines through. I started wondering—Why Global Struggle? "Global" is so Birkenstock, so earthy crunchy, so global warming... People like Al Gore or that Kerry are global... "Planet"? PSAVE? Karen gets a mental image of Mr. P-****, moves on quickly...
World? World Struggle Against Violent Extremism? Hmm. Like that "World Struggle" thing, sounds like World War, like FDR...
WSAVE?
Now, if Karl Rove weren't hiding under his desk, chewing his hands, he would have rammed that "W" right down all our throats. Never mind all the jokes, like "saved W's narrow ass in two elections."
But Karen is so much more subtle than Karl. She saw that the "SAVE" was the important part. After all, in a Godly White House, what could be more important than being saved—and saving the world? So stick with Global. And speak directly to the base.
That Karen! Always on message!
UPDATE Sometimes things are just too obvious to see. As alert reader pantsonire points out, subliminally:
GSAVE = Je[sus] Saves
Speaking directly to the base, alright!
