Saturday, July 30, 2005

MBF Watch: Roll over, Mark Udall! 

Here's the pitiful end of the Denver Three story. In its entirety!

The Secret Service has determined the identity of a mystery man who forcibly removed three people from a March appearance by President Bush in Denver, but it has decided to not press charges.

In a letter sent to three Colorado members of Congress, the Secret Service said that its investigation is over and that it will not name the man because no charges were filed.

The terse letter -- released by the Colorado lawmakers -- puts to rest a months-long Secret Service probe into the identity of the man accused of impersonating a Secret Service agent to kick three anti-Bush Democrats from the president's rally.

The people became known as the "Denver Three" as their crusade to unmask the mystery bouncer took them all the way to Capitol Hill. They said they were confronted by a man -- dressed in an official-looking suit and wearing an earpiece similar to ones plugged into the ears of Bush's security detail -- who forced them to leave an event simply because they had an "No More Blood for Oil" bumper sticker on their car. The man never said he was an agent, but he threatened to arrest them if they did not obey his orders. The White House said he was a volunteer who was not operating in any official capacity for Bush. "Hopefully the White House will put in place procedures for town meetings that allow all views to be heard and that respect all law-abiding individuals," Rep. Mark Udall (D-Colo.) said in a statement.
(via WaPo)

"Hopefully," forsooth. How pious. How... How powerless.

Does Representative Udall have a custodial relationship with his balls? Has Udall been out of the country for the last year? Was he out of the country for "election" 2004? Because some of us have noticed that Bush is all about allowing only views he agrees with to be heard—see WMD fiasco, where everyone who agreed with Bush even though they were all wrong was promoted—and his "Town Halls"—both in "election" 2004 and in the Social Security bamboozepalooza this year—were staged, ticketted events to which only Republicans were invited (though naturally Democrats, as taxpayers, were allowed to pick up the tab).

The bottom line is this:

It's now officially OK, no problemo, copacetic, strictly legal for a Partei brownshirt to impersonate a Secret Service officer. Man, I'm going to go sign up today! Free armbands! I've always wanted to play a cop! Now I can!

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