Sunday, April 10, 2005
Book Tag ~ Part 2
Q: Five books you would take to a deserted island?
A: Initially, I was thinkin', if I were to be cast-away upon a deserted island the first three books I would choose to tote along with me would include something by Dinesh D'Souza, something by Ann Coulter, and the Bible.
My thinking was this: At some point a ship full of cannibal pirates would show up on the island (you know they would) at which point I would negotiate a trade. I'd turn both D'Souza and Coulter over to the cannibal pirates in exchange for some number and manner of useful provisions. We'd celebrate our new trading status with cheap rum and boozy shindy dancing and the pirates would engage in swashbuckling sword fights over who gets first Arrgghs! on Ann. If you know what I mean.
After the celebrations had ended and the pirates had sailed off over the horizon with D'Souza lashed to the anchor I'd use those provisions to fashion a sail from the pages of the Gospel of Mark and hollow out a place in the Book for me to place a small bottle containing a note that reads: "please save me - I am stranded on a deserted island. Ann Coulter and Dinesh D'Souza have been carried off by cannibal pirates. Please send help."
In the evening I'd hoist Mark up the mainsail mast and set my Biblical raft adrift on the sea where it would bob around in the drink until someone discovered it washed up on a beach at some resort somewhere and a dramatic rescue mission would be put in motion on my behalf and I'd be airlifted to a fully desserted island. The kind with a Baskin Robbins for instance. And places that sell frozen yogurt and sorbets garnished with wafers. And stuff like that.
But then I realized that there was a serious possibility that the cannibal pirates would take to Ann and Dinesh and form some kind of horrible colony on the next island over. And my plan would ultimately turn against me and I'd be sold to some shrunken headed sea hag like Cathy Seipp or the Portuguese navy, or something awful like that. Plus, I was still two books short of 5.
So forget all that above. These are my 6 picks below for a desert island exile. I chose six because I figure I can finish Cattle War Buckaroo on the way to the island and still have five left for my actual stay. And besides, who wants to be stuck on an deserted island with anything Jonah Goldberg has written. Unless you can trade him to cannibals. And lets face it, after a week or two on a deserted island nobody in their right mind is going to care whats actually written in a book anyway. Its the cover thats going to be your new best friend. So chose your covers wisely.
World history:
1. Women's Barracks; the autobiography of a French girl soldier. (Old Europe WW2 history series, by Lynne Cheney)
Communications/media/culture:
2. How Cheap Can You Get (a comprehensive look inside the cable television industry, journalism, and the people who make up the "news" whenever they sorta feel like it.)
Political science/government
3. I Was A Teeny-Bopper For the CIA (by Redacted)
Cooking/Entertaining:
4. Acid Party: pretty self explanatory.
Feminist literature:
5. Girl Wrestler: "Mauled...manhandled...exhibited before lusting eyes...this lovely creature fought depravity and disgrace at the hands of bone-crushing men and passionate Amazons"
Girl Wrestler is one of my favorites. I think I have a crush on her. And lets face it, considering all shes been through, she don't look to bad for the wear. I figure if Girl Wrestler can handle lusting Amazons and bone-crushing depravity I can handle a two weeks on a deserted island with Lynne Cheney and a coconut full of LSD. It is only two weeks isn't it?
Ok, pass it along: I tag...
r@d@r at ex-lion tamer
Jill at Brilliant at Breakfast ...and...
Mimus Pauly at A Mockingbird's Medley
Q1 - You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be [saved]?
Q2 - Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Q3 - The last book you bought is?
Q4 - What are you currently reading?
Q5 - Five books you would take to a deserted island?
*
A: Initially, I was thinkin', if I were to be cast-away upon a deserted island the first three books I would choose to tote along with me would include something by Dinesh D'Souza, something by Ann Coulter, and the Bible.
My thinking was this: At some point a ship full of cannibal pirates would show up on the island (you know they would) at which point I would negotiate a trade. I'd turn both D'Souza and Coulter over to the cannibal pirates in exchange for some number and manner of useful provisions. We'd celebrate our new trading status with cheap rum and boozy shindy dancing and the pirates would engage in swashbuckling sword fights over who gets first Arrgghs! on Ann. If you know what I mean.
After the celebrations had ended and the pirates had sailed off over the horizon with D'Souza lashed to the anchor I'd use those provisions to fashion a sail from the pages of the Gospel of Mark and hollow out a place in the Book for me to place a small bottle containing a note that reads: "please save me - I am stranded on a deserted island. Ann Coulter and Dinesh D'Souza have been carried off by cannibal pirates. Please send help."
In the evening I'd hoist Mark up the mainsail mast and set my Biblical raft adrift on the sea where it would bob around in the drink until someone discovered it washed up on a beach at some resort somewhere and a dramatic rescue mission would be put in motion on my behalf and I'd be airlifted to a fully desserted island. The kind with a Baskin Robbins for instance. And places that sell frozen yogurt and sorbets garnished with wafers. And stuff like that.
But then I realized that there was a serious possibility that the cannibal pirates would take to Ann and Dinesh and form some kind of horrible colony on the next island over. And my plan would ultimately turn against me and I'd be sold to some shrunken headed sea hag like Cathy Seipp or the Portuguese navy, or something awful like that. Plus, I was still two books short of 5.
So forget all that above. These are my 6 picks below for a desert island exile. I chose six because I figure I can finish Cattle War Buckaroo on the way to the island and still have five left for my actual stay. And besides, who wants to be stuck on an deserted island with anything Jonah Goldberg has written. Unless you can trade him to cannibals. And lets face it, after a week or two on a deserted island nobody in their right mind is going to care whats actually written in a book anyway. Its the cover thats going to be your new best friend. So chose your covers wisely.
World history:1. Women's Barracks; the autobiography of a French girl soldier. (Old Europe WW2 history series, by Lynne Cheney)
Communications/media/culture:
2. How Cheap Can You Get (a comprehensive look inside the cable television industry, journalism, and the people who make up the "news" whenever they sorta feel like it.)
Political science/government
3. I Was A Teeny-Bopper For the CIA (by Redacted)
Cooking/Entertaining:
4. Acid Party: pretty self explanatory.
Feminist literature:
5. Girl Wrestler: "Mauled...manhandled...exhibited before lusting eyes...this lovely creature fought depravity and disgrace at the hands of bone-crushing men and passionate Amazons"
Girl Wrestler is one of my favorites. I think I have a crush on her. And lets face it, considering all shes been through, she don't look to bad for the wear. I figure if Girl Wrestler can handle lusting Amazons and bone-crushing depravity I can handle a two weeks on a deserted island with Lynne Cheney and a coconut full of LSD. It is only two weeks isn't it?
Ok, pass it along: I tag...
r@d@r at ex-lion tamer
Jill at Brilliant at Breakfast ...and...
Mimus Pauly at A Mockingbird's Medley
Q1 - You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be [saved]?
Q2 - Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Q3 - The last book you bought is?
Q4 - What are you currently reading?
Q5 - Five books you would take to a deserted island?
*
