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OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE!!!! STATEMENT FROM MR P-NISS FOLLOWS!!! MUST CREDIT MR P-NISS!!!

Try to guess where this came from:

GANNONGUCKERT TALKING POINTS!!!! WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE!!!! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!!

We have obtained the TOP SECRET, MIRACULOUSLY DISSEMINATED talking points for next week's National Press Club "Blogger or Journalist" panel. As has been speculated elsewhere, this is CLEAR PROOF that the National "Whore" Press Club is a RIGHT WING CLOWN SHOW!!!!!! The talking points are as follows:

1. JEFF GANNON IS A REAL REPORTER. (Repeat until true.)

2. BLOGGERS GET THINGS WRONG AND ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED. They are good for penis jokes and for passing time in the news room when not taking dictation from the White House.

3. THIS PANEL IS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT. What we decide here could seal the fate of mainstream media for GENERATIONS to come.

4. A REACHAROUND IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED.

Give up? Well, nevermind, it doesn't really matter. What's important is that Mr. P-Niss is finally getting the recognition he deserves from the National Press Club in Washington DC. Mr. P-Niss is engorged with pride. Mr P-Niss would gladly accept an invitation to appear at next weeks National Press Club Blogging Invitational conference on blogging - especially since the theme of the program seems to have something to do with stupid ugly cartoonish dickheads. And, even more especially, Mr P-Niss would be delighted to spend an exciting penetrating evening rubbing himself against - I mean with! - I mean rubbing shoulders with! - with the lovely and delightful Anna Marie Cox. Yes. Whew...hoo boy.

But, sadly, Mr. P-Niss has other penetrating engagements he must attend to. For instance: today Mr. P-Niss will be in Phoenix Arizona charming the pants off the loser.... I mean loom - loom-inaries, yes, assembled luminaries, and dignitaries, and honorable members of the Phoenix City Council. And next week Mr. P-Niss will be very busy stroking his putter at this years True P-Niss Suck-n-Bang Putt Putt Theocracy Invitational in Scottsdale. So, as you can see, Mr P-Niss is a very busy P.


In any event Mr P-Niss would like to extend a warm thank you to National Press Club for recognizing the contribution Mr. P-Niss has made to blogging over the last fifteen years. Or at least it seems like fifteen years. As you can see Mr. P-Niss has finally come to the conclusion that blogging amounts to little more than some lonely frustrated juvenile exercise in shameless self gratification.

On the other hand (hee hee), I'll bet none of you jerk-offs at the National Press Club have a golf tournament named after you - now do you? Heh heh.

Once again, thanks a bunch NPC, and as we like to say around the ball washer at the Suck-n-Bang Country Club - keep it clean and don't let your meat loaf!

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