Friday, March 25, 2005

from the Dept. of Vile Rumors 

I have no way of verifying this VILE RUMOR:


(Washington, DC, March 25, 2005) Lawyers for George H.W. and Barbara Bush took the case of their son, George W. Bush, to federal court today in an attempt to force doctors to remove the feeding tube that ties him to his guardian, Karl Rove. The tube was inserted many years ago when doctors realized that Mr. Bush could not function in an acceptable manner in society, or make decisions, even bad ones, without it.

The younger Bush, who has been force-fed reactionary tripe since birth, was declared to be in a persistent sociopathic state by a panel of doctors and the only thing they could do to make him seem capable of functioning in society was to run a feeding tube from Mr. Rove’s brain directly to the skull of Mr. Bush, through a special pump attached to his back. This tube has enabled him to function with at least a human appearance in front of pre-selected audiences with a minimum of symptoms.

The parents however, recently stated that their son had told them many years ago that he never wanted to be kept functional if he lost his ability to empathize, and they claim that the feeding tube is inhumane. However, they concede that without the tube, their son would probably recede into a complete sociopathic catatonia, with occasional fits of rage, unable to lead a normal life.

Others contend that the parents are only seeking to have the tube removed so that the family can be spared further embarrassment as the condition of their son deteriorates.

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