Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Dept. of You Can't Make This Shit Up (Schiavo Relief Committee) 

Why do I need to write copy when I can't even dream of topping this? (Thanks to Tinfoil Hat Boy for the link that led to these revelations.) In the spirit of the current God-infested climate, I give you:

A North Carolina man is selling a brick that appears to feature the face of Jesus, 4170738according to Local 6 News report. Ditto Dalcher said he was sitting in his home and noticed the face above his fireplace. "It was actually about two years ago, I'm just sitting in here and I saw it," Dalcher said. "Actually I use this room -- just saw it up there on the fireplace and it just sort of fooled me when I first saw it. It was pretty shocking." Dalcher noticed how much money people were making off of the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich and Jesus in a skillet and decided to share what he found, according to the report. The bids on eBay were at $500 early Monday. The auction ends on Friday.

Families in Texas are traveling to pray around a tree at a home that appears to show the image of the Virgin Mary and the finger of God pointing to the sky, 4194316 according to a Local 6 News report. The image was found on a tree that has been at the Kilburnfamily's Harris County, Tx., since they moved in nine years ago, Local 6 News reported. "We were going out to church, my husband backs up and I say, 'honey, there's a woman on the tree,'" Pat Kilburn said. Kilburn said the image of the Virgin Mary appeared on the tree. Kilburn said the same image that appears to be the face of Virgin Mary also appears to be God's finger pointing to Heaven. Kilburn and many of her neighbors are convinced the tree is God's way of showing people he is always near, Local 6 News reported.

4298817 An Indiana pet store owner says a turtle that was the only animal to survive a fire at the shop has developed an image of Satan's face on its shell. Bryan Dora's pet store in Frankfort burned down last October. The red-ear slider turtle named Lucky is the only survivor of about 150 animals. Dora said after the fire, an image appeared on Lucky's shell that appears to be the face of a devil. He said the turtle is not possessed but is very tame. He believes that in every fire the devil leaves his mark somewhere, and that Lucky was touched. Dora said many other people also say they have seen the image on the turtle, and get scared away.

And, in keeping with the rites of spring, thousands of Humboldt squid are snuffing it on Newport Beach. None stayed alive long enough to comment. Authorities are searching for evidence of religious iconograpy to explain this suicidal pilgrimage.

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