Wednesday, January 12, 2005

OUTRAGE! Kid Rock - the Kool Aide Pimp 

Kid Rock: To be honest I really have no idea who this pop-moron is or what he's all about. I have only a rudimentary familiarity with the brainless caterwaulings of Kid Rock. And I don't have any interest in learning any more about him to be perfectly honest. So please, spare me the effort. Look, I get paid BIG $$$$ to write this kind of shit. I don't care if I know what I'm talking about or not. What the hell do I care. As as long as I deliver the goods and my people is happy... I'm a bid'ness man damnit! Do you here me! A bid'ness man!

But, I must say, if brainless caterwauling is your thing, it seems to me that the best place to feature such noisy outrage would be a Republican inauguration party. Really. What better place to celebrate brainless caterwauling and noisy drivel?

And who better to host such festivities than the next generation Bush geminate brood? I'm sure Laura Ingraham will show up with the blow. Hey, ya know, this ain't gonna be no Melanie concert. These are hard scrabble Texas Republicans with compellin' life stories we is talkin' about here. And you thought Armstrong "Buff Daddy" Williams had the big pimpin' gig. Oh no, that not so. Kid Rock, he da man. He da "pimp of the nation."

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how ya look at it, the fussy scoldpottle gatekeepers of Christian correctitude don't take to such jive nonsense. Well, I'm with em. Hopefully we can overturn that Secret Service inauguration day ban on wooden crosses and I and my new friends from the pro-family faction can swoop down upon the celebrity pervert invite and beat him bloody with the rood of Jesus.

Then me and Bob Knight and Donny Wildmon will scoop the obnoxious little sexualized fucker into the back seat of a Hummer and take him for a ride in the Shenandoah National Park where we'll hand him a carton of cigarettes and twenty dollars and warn him never to return to town lest he knows whats good God-damned good fer him. Then we'll kick him in the nuts and break a couple of his immoral fingers and roll him outta the backseat and into a ditch. Just for the Christian Nation fun of it. What?

Inauguration Youth Event -- Between a Rock and a Red Face?

By Jim Brown and Bill Fancher - January 11, 2005
(AgapePress) - Controversy continues to swirl around an upcoming Bush presidential inauguration event that features a performance by a rapper who refers to himself as the "pimp of the nation." While the White House says the president himself would never endorse the performer's sexualized lyrics, the group heading up the inaugural festivities has pretty much declined comment.

Numerous news organizations have reported that Kid Rock, a controversial rock-and-roller known for his vulgar lyrics and immoral lifestyle, is slated to perform at an inaugural youth concert hosted by First Twins Jenna and Barbara Bush. Pro-family activists have expressed outrage over the rapper's scheduled performance.

Bob Knight - Donald Wildmon:

Both Wildmon and Knight believe Kid Rock needs to be removed from the inaugural program as soon as possible. But can that happen? Knight thinks so.

"I think if they hear enough outrage from the people who elected President Bush, that this is a slap in the to their values, that they'll have to reconsider," Knight says. "He ought to be dis-invited."

WorldNetDaily quotes California pro-family leader Randy Thomasson who says if Kid Rock is allowed to perform at this inauguration event, it will send a clear message to pro-family Americans that the GOP has "taken them for a ride and ditched them in the gutter."

The PIC will neither confirm nor deny whether Kid Rock has been invited. At least one pro-family leader who has attempted to contact the PIC several times in recent days says he does not buy that statement.

"What kind of answer is that?" asks American Family Association chairman Don Wildmon. "All you have to say is yes, he's is going to be here; no, he's not going to be here. But they refuse to do that -- which leads me to think that they have the man signed up [and] ready to come, but they're afraid of the backlash and they're waiting to see what's going to happen."


Conservatives have also taken offense to the revelation that actor Kelsey Grammer will emcee a kickoff inaugural gala honoring the military. Grammer has been arrested for multiple DUI and cocaine possession offenses.

Cocaine and DUI! The OUTRAGE! The sheer nerve of anyone inviting someone with a history of DUI arrests and cocaine possession offenses to a Bush inauguration is - is - is - well, simply an OUTRAGE! I'll have none of it. Hopefully my friends Don Wildmon and Bob Knight will bring an extra twenty dollars and another carton of cigarettes along for the ride.


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