Friday, January 28, 2005

Mountain Angry 

One of Dick Cheney's suspected secret undisclosed locations continues to smolder.

Agriculture Secretary and former Governor of Nebraska Mike Johanns to be offered to angry mountain as ritual human sacrifice. Johanns will be stripped naked, bonked on the forehead with a ball-peen hammer, and heaved into the ferment to appease the cow god Bos. An invitation only GOP sponsored luncheon and brief memorial service will follow the forfeiture ceremony. Shadow president Cheney could not be reached for comment but was beleived to be safely decomposing beneath a heap of Bush administration bullshit north of Sabillasville, Maryland.

Massive Manure Fire Burns Into Third Month

MILFORD, Neb.: [...]

Byproducts from the massive operation resulted in a dung pile measuring 100 feet long, 30 feet high and 50 feet wide that began burning about two months ago and continues to smolder despite Herculean attempts to douse it.


The Nebraska Department of Environmental Quality has informed Dickinson that his smoldering dung pile violates clean-air laws and is working with him to find the best solution to extinguish it, said agency spokesman Rich Webster.


No one is sure how the fire started, but a common theory is that heat from the decomposing manure deep inside the pile eventually ignited the manure.

Also see:
Annals Of The Ownership Society


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