corrente

Farmer has just discovered that "performers" at the Bush coronation inaugural have been ordered "not to look directly at President Bush" during the Torchlight Parade while passing the reviewing stand.

At first, I didn't see why things had to be that way, but after giving the matter prayerful consideration, I was vouchsafed the answer:

Bush's Godly radiance is such that those who look directly at Him are struck blind.

So, really, they're just trying to protect us.

But it still doesn't seem right. This is a democracy, after all, so it hardly seems fair that citizens can't look at their Leader.

Then it was revealed to me that the very same technology that we have been given to view the sun during solar eclipses without going blind could be used to view The Son safely, too.

For example, a pinhole projector.

Here are the directions for making and using your very own "Solar Viewing Box," or, as we call it, your "Bush Viewing Box"™:



So, even if you can't look at Bush directly without going blind, you can still use your "Bush Viewing Box"™ to look at His projected image in complete safety! Even while you are marching before the reviewing stand!

Just be sure to explain to the security folks that you're bringing a large cardboard box to the inaugural, and how important it is to you. I'm sure they will be happy to give you every assistance. And when you put the box over your head, don't make any sudden moves.