corrente

You look a little downhearted.

I am.

But why? The latest report says that consumers are supposed to be “buoyant.” You know, happy. Haven’t you been shopping?

It’s just all of this greed and commercialization. Everybody talks about the “holidays.” Nobody talks about Jesus.

Hey, that’s not true. I hear about Jesus all the time. About how Jesus saves people from going to hell, and gives the president advice, and stuff like that.

Not about the Jesus who said to give your money to the poor. Not about the Jesus who said that one can’t serve both God and Mammon.

Well, come on, Big Fella. That kind of talk is hardly festive. Here, I bought you something.

What’s this?

It’s a Jesus action figure. See, the arms go up like this, and it has little hidden wheels so it can glide on the floor. And, it comes with a little WWJD bracelet, too. (Jesus Action Figure)

Gee, thanks. But you shouldn’t be spending money on me.

Hey, it’s okay—these were on sale at WalMart. I was going to get you a communion gift box, but I don’t have a credit card for online purchases since the bankruptcy. (A & C Relgious Supplies)

You know, I feel a little more buoyant already. I feel like I could go shopping. Maybe I’ll order a whole set of Biblical Action Figures and we can play with them instead of thinking sad thoughts about poor people and stuff. (View Entire Collection)

That’s the spirit! Keep that up and soon we’ll return this nation to its Biblical roots and stimulate the economy at the same time!