Sunday, December 05, 2004


"I knew Tom Ridge. Commissioner, you're no Tom Ridge." Words you thought you'd never hear, right?

I mean, who would have thought that Tom Ridge—He of the Extremely Non-Political Terror Alerts—wasn't sufficiently loyal? Well, amazing but true, he wasn't. After we unboggle our minds from this classic fluffing headline—"A Tough Cop Tempered by 9/11 and Iraq"—and read w-a-a-a-a-y down in the story we get this, about Bush's nominee for head of the Department of Homeland Security:

"[Bernard Kerik's] most consistent trait is blind loyalty [In the original German, Kadaver gehorsam] to his boss." [said City Council member Bill Perkins].
(via WaPo)

OK! That clears up the troubling question of whether Bernard "Bumboy" Kerik is qualified for the job! But wait! There's more! Kerik is qualified in so many, many other ways!

1. Kerik is a coward who fucked up Iraq! Just like so many other Republicans!

Appointed by President Bush to train a new Iraqi police force in 2003, Kerik came under criticism for inadequate screening of recruits as U.S. authorities rushed to deploy the force. It has been plagued by desertions and by allegations that insurgents have infiltrated the ranks.

Kerik quit four months into his six-month tenure in Iraq, telling New York reporters later that he needed a vacation.

Wow! I bet the troops wish they could take a vacation! And he can't make it for a six month tour of duty?! WTF?

2. Kerik uses the public purse for private gain! Just like so many other Republicans!

The city's Conflicts of Interest Board fined him $2,500 for sending two police officers to Ohio to help research his best-selling 2001 memoir, "The Lost Son."

3. So do Kerik's friends! Just like so many other Republicans!

Kerik several times promoted Anthony Serra, finally to bureau chief. But this summer -- well after Kerik left the department -- the Bronx district attorney filed a 146-count indictment against Serra, charging that he had over several years used corrections officers to work on his home and in Republican Party campaigns.

4. Kerik appoints thieves and looters to office! Just like so many other Republicans!

The [New York City Correction Foundation] was supposed to fund programs that strengthen the department. But it had few fiscal controls, and Kerik appointed a deputy commissioner who later pleaded guilty to defrauding it of $142,000. The former aide is serving a federal prison term.

5. Kerik fucks up the chain of command! Just like so many other Republicans!

Remember the chaos on 9/11? Remember the CPA? Abu Ghraib?

But when the city commissioned McKinsey & Co. to examine New York's response to the attacks, and later when the Sept. 11 commission held hearings, Kerik heard sharp criticism of the fire and police departments, particularly of the failure to establish a clear line of command.

6. Kerik thinks democracy is for traitors! Just like so many other Republicans!

"Political criticism is our enemy's best friend," Kerik said.

One of the most endearing things about Bush is that when he's got one of his enemies—i.e., you or me or any of the Blues—down on the ground, and he's really put the boot in, he doesn't stop. Once he's done with the ribs, he goes for the face and the balls. A totally politicized Department of Homeland Security not enough? Let's make the DHS department head a guy who's only qualification is that he's a toady and a suck-up, and looked good on TV in the days after 9/11.

And He's going to ram Keriks's appointment through and make us like it. Fuckhead.

Can someone explain to me why the Beltway Dems are putting up with this crap?

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