corrente

Dear dipwad, jerk, incipient fascist, and/or drunken teenage subwoofer-addicted toad:

I'd sure like to thank you for swiping the "Kerry-Edwards" sign which has been sitting harmlessly, and, alas, rather unnoticed, in my yard for lo these last six weeks or so.

Mostly I am deeply grateful for the laziness, fear of legal retribution, pangs of conscience or, more likely, lack of attention span which caused you to chuck it out your passenger-side window into the ditch. It was just far enough down the road to be around a curve where I most likely wouldn't have found it if I hadn't been looking very closely for just such a sight.

Without the flood of fury and adrenaline your act inspired, I would probably never have thought to assemble some cheap little flags and drag out some solar lights I got on sale and have been keeping around to replace the ones circling the yard pond as they wear out or get battered by hail.

Really, the experience has both enhanced the look of my yard and fired up my determination. My gratitude is sincere. But touch my sign again, asshole, and I still have the 4x8 sheet of plywood in the shed, plenty of paint, and lots of cool tips for wording. And did I mention the shotgun?