corrente

Boy-o-boy, sometimes I feel like I'm missing all the important stuff.



Letters to the farmer:

Dear Mr. Farmer,

Our daughter has danced with the Negro. It's true. Of course we love our daughter Mary very much and of course we have nothing against Negoes, especially ones that can dance real good, but the mention of such personal matters concerning our daughters very private - "dancing priorities" - is not something to be discussed by shadowy liberals in a public forum. Suppose a shadowy liberal just blurted out something like "Mr Farmers grandparents rented apartments to Jews!" How would you feel?

Or suppose some shadowy liberal told everyone that your teenage son had a beefcake poster of a shirtless hairy backed Andrew Sullivan dressed in a pair of silk jacquard underwear hanging on the back of his closet door or wanted to join the Tennessee Williams Society or spent hours staring dreamily at glossy magazine pictures of Mark Foley! How would you like that! I don't think thats the kind of thing plain spoken decent God-fearin' tax protesting Bible reading Christian folk want broadcast around the public square by a shadowy liberal tool of Rome.

Plus, suppose your seventeen year old "minute maid" was "in a family way," as they say, and sent off to "work it out" at the "Molly Brown House"! Or suppose your daddy were recorded slobbering lecherously into a telephone receiver describing unnatural acts upon a wet falafel while spanking the bald head of a fat preverted television mogul!

Would you want some looney baby eating Massachusetts socialist dragging your family shame through the dirty common streets as if it were some kind of fiendish tatooed Chinese opium monkey or a filthy impish Irish pub slut?

Well? Is that the kind of cheap and tawdry political trick you'd like played on your family's infamy!

Yours in service to Odin,
Rick and Lon Chainey
Muddy Gap, Wyoming.

Jeeeeez. I'll tell ya what, when this election is over I'm becoming a movement conservative. Them folks is having a whole lot more fun than I am.

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