corrente

The invaluable analysts at World O' Crap have provided a summary of Dear Leader's sermon (isn't that what you call a speech delivered from a pulpit? Controversy rages over whether that teleprompter supporter was supposed to represent the crumbled wreckage of the Twin Towers or a crucifix. I remain agnostic on the question) for those so lucky as to have missed the real fake thing:

During the past four years as your President, I have accomplished many great things. Most notably, 9/11.

Since 2001, Americans have been given hills to climb, streams to ford, rainbows to follow, until we find our dream. Now, because we have made the hard day's journey into night, we can see clearly, for the rain is gone -- and there ain't no mountain high enough to keep us from you. Now, because we have faced challenges with Resolve, the stains wash right out. We will build a safer world and a more hopeful America, and nothing will hold us back. And we'll do it our way, yes our way, make all our dreams come true. For me and you.

In my World of Tomorrow, you will be able to ride to your new technical job as a hamburger service technician in a personal hover car.

Senator Kerry opposed Medicare reform and health savings accounts. He opposes marriage, children, little puppies and lowered income taxes for kindly, old billionaires. To be fair, there are some things that he is for: satanic rituals, wife-swapping, and raising the taxes of innocent wealthy people. His policies are the policies of the past. Ours are the policies of the FUTURE! We are on the path to the future, and we are not turning back -- because we're lost, and we're too macho to ask for directions.

Like generations before us, we have a calling from beyond the stars to stand for freedom. Yes, I've been talking to the space aliens again.

Now vote for me or I will kill you all!