Monday, September 06, 2004
What if John Kerry's "official" military records were AWOL...
Suppose a major news organization - lets say, the Associated Press, were to reveal that, despite earlier claims to the contrary, official military records detailing a year of John Kerry's military service in Vietnam were missing. And that any requests for such "official" documented evidence of John Kerry's service for that time period could not be produced. Despite John Kerry's own promise on national television that he would indeed - sir! - provide for a complete and full disclosure of such "official" records.
And lets suppose that, to make matters worse, no one could be found who recalls ever seeing John Kerry in Vietnam during the dates of service in question. And lets suppose even more-so that John Kerry was traveling around the country (as I write this post) proclaiming before throngs of enthralled cherry picked sychophantic wellwishers that he was dang "proud of his mull'tary service" in Vietnam for which he claims to have participated honorably and in full metal regalia.
Suppose that were the case. And if that were the case what do you suppose the reaction to this Associated Press revelation (linked above) would be? What kind of media caterwaul do you suppose would ensue? What variety of vomitus shriek would belch forth from the brood of television "news" GOP thigh warmers including Judy Woodruff and Wolf Blitzer? Or Joe Scarborough or Tucker "Jacuzzi Boy" Carlson? Or Kelly Wallace or Candy Crowley or Paula Zahn or FoxNews (in bulk-lockstep) or any number of other noisy Beltway squawkbox harpies and chickehawks who ply their clamorous trade in titter and tattle and tut-tut tutelage?
Why they'd be beside themselves with self-righteous indignation. By God and Abraham. "John Kerry!," they would squawk from their million dollar perch swings and pedestals located inside their gilded cable broadcast "news" cages, "may be articulate, intelligent, and a well seasoned statesman and politician, but how can we elect a man whose own deceptions concerning his own past indescretions to this country reveal serious character flaws and raise serious questions about his ability to lead this nation forward in a time of war while at the same time being able to speak truthfully and plainly to the American people!
Ok? Can't ya just hear it now? The high pitched trill that would be screeching from your television set 24/7. That's exactly what you'd be subjected to. I know it, you all know it, and the colorful preened parrots in the auriferous corporate cable television "news" cage know it too.
Imagine:
JUDY WOODRUFF: But, Mr. XYZ.... many critics charge that John Kerry did not show up for his service in Vietnam and may be unfit for command just as our.....
GUEST XYZ: Uh, I thought we were talking about a potential famine in West Africa, I'm not.....
WOODRUFF: Yes!, we are, but don't you see the connection........
Or something like this. I can hear it now:
WOLF BLITZER: Mr. President, compared to your own honorable service to this country while serving with the Texas Air National Guard.......
BUSH: Hon'rable, heh heh, yeah, hell Wolf, I never showed up for most of that Air Nash'nal Gard stuff - i was guzzling Jack and Cokes and peeing on cars in Alabama and.....
BLITZER: ...during the Vietnam War. Given that - how do you feel about recent news media reports that suggest that there may not even be any official record that John Kerry ever showed up for the military service he claims to have honored from.....
BUSH: I lied about them WMD's too Wolf!, [snicker] yeah, heh, [snicker] that was a good one, we really pulled a fast one there.....heh heh.....
BLITZER:.... from 1972 to 1973. Don't you think, Mr. President, that Mr. Kerry's disingenuous statements and inablility to back up his claims with....
BUSH: My daddy got me into the Texas Air Guard! And my daddy got me out!
BLITZER:.....demonstratable evidence of his service is a reflection of his personal character and....
BUSH: Once, when I was a kid, I strangled a teenage prostitute to death in my apartment at Chateaux Dijon and I still keep her frozen head in a freezer at my ranch in Crawford!
BLITER:...and perhaps, with regard to his past military service claims,....
BUSH: I was Klaus Barbie's teenage love slave.
BLITZER:....an indicator.....
BUSH: That's how I got to know Michael Ledeen.
BLITZER:....that he, John Kerry.......
BUSH: Jesus was a girly man.....now watch this drive! Hey, you got that clip around here of me golfin'?
BLITZER:....is unfit......for command...
BUSH: Huh? No self effacing video clip, well, I'm outta here Wolf - gotta go, thanks for your time....Altoid Boy! Lets roll!
BLITZER: ......to serve as the President of the United States? Mr President?
BUSH: ----------------
BLITZER: That's very generous of you Mr. President, I understand that you don't want to personally pass judgement on Mr. Kerry's character, that's a sensitive subject, but, do you have any reservations about Mr. Kerry's ability to make important national security decisions especially when it comes down to speaking the truth to the American people on important issues - especially following the tragic events of 9/11 - for which you yourself performed heroically - and the fact that this country is now engaged in a global war on terrorism - and needs a strong leader - with a genuine record of strong leadership and genuine accountability and not as some detractors claim a record of "flip flops" and alleged deceptions that even former Mayor of New York City Mayor Rudy G.....(fade out -- go to news-o-mercial).........
Or this:
JOE SCARBOROUGH: Tonight on Scarlborough Country! John Kerry and his liberal Hollywood friends want you to believe that Johnnnnn Ker-rrrry can lead us in the war on terror but, hey!, listen to this people. John Kerry can't even produce evidence that he ever showed up to defend his country when he was supposedly under contract to do so. Oh baby! Unbelievable people! Unbelievable! We'll be right back and will discuss this and much much more, don't go away - you're watching Scarlborough Country!
Or something like this:
PAUL BEGALA: Uh, Tucker, the Associated Press is reporting that there are unanswered questions about George Bush's military service. Not John Kerry's. And Salon magazine now reports that the wife of former Republican campaign adviser Jim Allison doesn't even recall Mr. Bush ever......
TUCKER CARLSON: [voice rising an octave while dramatically feigning insult and disbelief] Oh! Paul! This is so typical of the looney left. This is just another example of shrill conspiracy theories being shopped around by angy bitter extremist liberals - people like Howard Dean and Paul Krugman and.......
BEGALA: Wait!, Tucker. The Associated Press is a shrill leftist conspiracy....
CARLSON: Ohhhh! Paul c'mon.... [feigning exasperation] you know what I mean, this is just the same old Democratic hate speech politics from Bush haters like Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon and......
BEGALA: Tucker? How do you explain Mr. Bush telling our own CNN's Wolf Blitzer that he lied about WMD's? Mr. Bush himself said that he lied about the existence of WMD's in Iraq, Tucker... how do you......
CARLSON: Paul.... don't be ridiculous, [feigned scoffing laughter] he didn't specifically mention Iraq, ...and he was just kidding. Paul!...it was a joke....you..you looney leftists don't even know how to take a joke...[feigned scoffing laughter] I can't believe that you take the President seriously when he says.....
Well, anyway, you know how it goes.
*
And lets suppose that, to make matters worse, no one could be found who recalls ever seeing John Kerry in Vietnam during the dates of service in question. And lets suppose even more-so that John Kerry was traveling around the country (as I write this post) proclaiming before throngs of enthralled cherry picked sychophantic wellwishers that he was dang "proud of his mull'tary service" in Vietnam for which he claims to have participated honorably and in full metal regalia.
Suppose that were the case. And if that were the case what do you suppose the reaction to this Associated Press revelation (linked above) would be? What kind of media caterwaul do you suppose would ensue? What variety of vomitus shriek would belch forth from the brood of television "news" GOP thigh warmers including Judy Woodruff and Wolf Blitzer? Or Joe Scarborough or Tucker "Jacuzzi Boy" Carlson? Or Kelly Wallace or Candy Crowley or Paula Zahn or FoxNews (in bulk-lockstep) or any number of other noisy Beltway squawkbox harpies and chickehawks who ply their clamorous trade in titter and tattle and tut-tut tutelage?
Why they'd be beside themselves with self-righteous indignation. By God and Abraham. "John Kerry!," they would squawk from their million dollar perch swings and pedestals located inside their gilded cable broadcast "news" cages, "may be articulate, intelligent, and a well seasoned statesman and politician, but how can we elect a man whose own deceptions concerning his own past indescretions to this country reveal serious character flaws and raise serious questions about his ability to lead this nation forward in a time of war while at the same time being able to speak truthfully and plainly to the American people!
Ok? Can't ya just hear it now? The high pitched trill that would be screeching from your television set 24/7. That's exactly what you'd be subjected to. I know it, you all know it, and the colorful preened parrots in the auriferous corporate cable television "news" cage know it too.
Imagine:
JUDY WOODRUFF: But, Mr. XYZ.... many critics charge that John Kerry did not show up for his service in Vietnam and may be unfit for command just as our.....
GUEST XYZ: Uh, I thought we were talking about a potential famine in West Africa, I'm not.....
WOODRUFF: Yes!, we are, but don't you see the connection........
Or something like this. I can hear it now:
WOLF BLITZER: Mr. President, compared to your own honorable service to this country while serving with the Texas Air National Guard.......
BUSH: Hon'rable, heh heh, yeah, hell Wolf, I never showed up for most of that Air Nash'nal Gard stuff - i was guzzling Jack and Cokes and peeing on cars in Alabama and.....
BLITZER: ...during the Vietnam War. Given that - how do you feel about recent news media reports that suggest that there may not even be any official record that John Kerry ever showed up for the military service he claims to have honored from.....
BUSH: I lied about them WMD's too Wolf!, [snicker] yeah, heh, [snicker] that was a good one, we really pulled a fast one there.....heh heh.....
BLITZER:.... from 1972 to 1973. Don't you think, Mr. President, that Mr. Kerry's disingenuous statements and inablility to back up his claims with....
BUSH: My daddy got me into the Texas Air Guard! And my daddy got me out!
BLITZER:.....demonstratable evidence of his service is a reflection of his personal character and....
BUSH: Once, when I was a kid, I strangled a teenage prostitute to death in my apartment at Chateaux Dijon and I still keep her frozen head in a freezer at my ranch in Crawford!
BLITER:...and perhaps, with regard to his past military service claims,....
BUSH: I was Klaus Barbie's teenage love slave.
BLITZER:....an indicator.....
BUSH: That's how I got to know Michael Ledeen.
BLITZER:....that he, John Kerry.......
BUSH: Jesus was a girly man.....now watch this drive! Hey, you got that clip around here of me golfin'?
BLITZER:....is unfit......for command...
BUSH: Huh? No self effacing video clip, well, I'm outta here Wolf - gotta go, thanks for your time....Altoid Boy! Lets roll!
BLITZER: ......to serve as the President of the United States? Mr President?
BUSH: ----------------
BLITZER: That's very generous of you Mr. President, I understand that you don't want to personally pass judgement on Mr. Kerry's character, that's a sensitive subject, but, do you have any reservations about Mr. Kerry's ability to make important national security decisions especially when it comes down to speaking the truth to the American people on important issues - especially following the tragic events of 9/11 - for which you yourself performed heroically - and the fact that this country is now engaged in a global war on terrorism - and needs a strong leader - with a genuine record of strong leadership and genuine accountability and not as some detractors claim a record of "flip flops" and alleged deceptions that even former Mayor of New York City Mayor Rudy G.....(fade out -- go to news-o-mercial).........
Or this:
JOE SCARBOROUGH: Tonight on Scarlborough Country! John Kerry and his liberal Hollywood friends want you to believe that Johnnnnn Ker-rrrry can lead us in the war on terror but, hey!, listen to this people. John Kerry can't even produce evidence that he ever showed up to defend his country when he was supposedly under contract to do so. Oh baby! Unbelievable people! Unbelievable! We'll be right back and will discuss this and much much more, don't go away - you're watching Scarlborough Country!
Or something like this:
PAUL BEGALA: Uh, Tucker, the Associated Press is reporting that there are unanswered questions about George Bush's military service. Not John Kerry's. And Salon magazine now reports that the wife of former Republican campaign adviser Jim Allison doesn't even recall Mr. Bush ever......
TUCKER CARLSON: [voice rising an octave while dramatically feigning insult and disbelief] Oh! Paul! This is so typical of the looney left. This is just another example of shrill conspiracy theories being shopped around by angy bitter extremist liberals - people like Howard Dean and Paul Krugman and.......
BEGALA: Wait!, Tucker. The Associated Press is a shrill leftist conspiracy....
CARLSON: Ohhhh! Paul c'mon.... [feigning exasperation] you know what I mean, this is just the same old Democratic hate speech politics from Bush haters like Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon and......
BEGALA: Tucker? How do you explain Mr. Bush telling our own CNN's Wolf Blitzer that he lied about WMD's? Mr. Bush himself said that he lied about the existence of WMD's in Iraq, Tucker... how do you......
CARLSON: Paul.... don't be ridiculous, [feigned scoffing laughter] he didn't specifically mention Iraq, ...and he was just kidding. Paul!...it was a joke....you..you looney leftists don't even know how to take a joke...[feigned scoffing laughter] I can't believe that you take the President seriously when he says.....
Well, anyway, you know how it goes.
*
