Thursday, September 02, 2004
BREAKING NEWS: Koppel Admits Pedophilia, Drug Dealing
NEW YORK (CNN*)--In a stunning admission on his own show "Nightline," ABC News host Ted Koppel said, in his own words, "Ted Koppel is a drug dealer and pedophile."
Upper management at ABC News and their corporate ownership at Disney Corporation had not issued any comment or defense of their highly-paid and badly-toupeed star as this article goes to press.
Koppel made the confession during an interview with Jon Stewart during a discussion of the obligation of members of the media to evaluate the factual accuracy of claims made by people like the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth," a Republican organized, financed and promoted group seeking to encourage George Bush's election in the forthcoming November balloting.
Koppel described a bizarre scenario in which George Bush, during his acceptance speech at tonight's Republican National Convention, diverted from his prepared text to state that Koppel was a drug dealer and pedophile.
Such a statement would properly be repeated by the media, Koppel argued, because it was made by a public figure in a public forum. Having been recorded by the media, he claimed, made it become news.
The discussion arose after Stewart took Koppel to task for what he claimed were the deficiencies of media shown during the current election cycle. Stewart, who claims to be "merely a comedian," notes that his show is described in its own literature as "Fake News" and yet, he said, was coming to be regarded by many viewers as more honest in its coverage than legitimate news outlets like MSNBC and Fox.
Koppel said that the challenge was to find a balance between "facts" and "truth," claiming something which by this point this reviewer was finding increasingly hard to follow, since the logic seemed to be breaking down entirely, meaning that it was time to cut to a commercial.
Koppel then cut to a commercial and ended the program. Baffled viewers are expected to report in online polls tomorrow that they found the entire discussion "troubling" and would seek to console themselves by either looking for analysis of the Scott Petersen trial or fleeing from Hurricane Francis.
More on the story as it develops. Back to you at the Mighty Corrente Tower, Lambert.
*Corrente News Network: First in Snark, First in Rumor, Last in the National League East
Upper management at ABC News and their corporate ownership at Disney Corporation had not issued any comment or defense of their highly-paid and badly-toupeed star as this article goes to press.
Koppel made the confession during an interview with Jon Stewart during a discussion of the obligation of members of the media to evaluate the factual accuracy of claims made by people like the "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth," a Republican organized, financed and promoted group seeking to encourage George Bush's election in the forthcoming November balloting.
Koppel described a bizarre scenario in which George Bush, during his acceptance speech at tonight's Republican National Convention, diverted from his prepared text to state that Koppel was a drug dealer and pedophile.
Such a statement would properly be repeated by the media, Koppel argued, because it was made by a public figure in a public forum. Having been recorded by the media, he claimed, made it become news.
The discussion arose after Stewart took Koppel to task for what he claimed were the deficiencies of media shown during the current election cycle. Stewart, who claims to be "merely a comedian," notes that his show is described in its own literature as "Fake News" and yet, he said, was coming to be regarded by many viewers as more honest in its coverage than legitimate news outlets like MSNBC and Fox.
Koppel said that the challenge was to find a balance between "facts" and "truth," claiming something which by this point this reviewer was finding increasingly hard to follow, since the logic seemed to be breaking down entirely, meaning that it was time to cut to a commercial.
Koppel then cut to a commercial and ended the program. Baffled viewers are expected to report in online polls tomorrow that they found the entire discussion "troubling" and would seek to console themselves by either looking for analysis of the Scott Petersen trial or fleeing from Hurricane Francis.
More on the story as it develops. Back to you at the Mighty Corrente Tower, Lambert.
*Corrente News Network: First in Snark, First in Rumor, Last in the National League East
