Monday, August 09, 2004
The Republican Trifecta
We would like to introduce today these three candidates, all of whom will run this November with a big ol' red capital "R" at the top of the column which includes their names.
Two of them were actively solicited (begged in one case) to run by Republican officials in their respective districts. The third snuck in because it is a "safe Democratic district" (the one your humble correspondent lives in as a matter of fact) and there was some heavy sleeping at the electoral switch when this guy went to file in the primary.
Our first specimen is Alan Keyes, of whom I'm sure everybody here has heard the story by now. Without saying even one word about the whole "carpetbagging was just EVIL when Hillary did it" issue, it appears that Mr. Keyes has some anger-management issues he may want to work on.
Our source here is the invaluable Archpundit, the go-to guy for electoral details in Illinois. Of particular amusement is a post on one of his comment threads, in reference to one of Keyes' earlier experiences on the campaign trail:
Next we come to a guy who embarasses even Tennessee Republicans, which, trust me, takes some doing. We get this, interestingly enough, via the Taipei Times, proving this fellow, James Hart, is mortifying the Volunteer State in places that previously had been unaware it existed:
Contributions should be made out to James Hart for congress committee and sent to PO Box 72, New Concord Ky. 42076.
Yup. He doesn't live in the district. Or even the state. He did win the primary last Thursday though, so it looks like they're stuck with him.
Listed last is this gentleman, Will Baker. You can get the boring mundane details from the (via SeattleTimes) but we think far better coverage can be obtained at Gen. JC Christian. Read from the wholly writ the General sent the fellow who recruited Mr. Baker:
Two of them were actively solicited (begged in one case) to run by Republican officials in their respective districts. The third snuck in because it is a "safe Democratic district" (the one your humble correspondent lives in as a matter of fact) and there was some heavy sleeping at the electoral switch when this guy went to file in the primary.
Our first specimen is Alan Keyes, of whom I'm sure everybody here has heard the story by now. Without saying even one word about the whole "carpetbagging was just EVIL when Hillary did it" issue, it appears that Mr. Keyes has some anger-management issues he may want to work on.
Our source here is the invaluable Archpundit, the go-to guy for electoral details in Illinois. Of particular amusement is a post on one of his comment threads, in reference to one of Keyes' earlier experiences on the campaign trail:
Keyes, who was wearing the exploding lilac necktie that is often a harbinger of one of his "episodes," also took the mayhem as a prompt to express his truest self. In other words, he jumped on the nearest soapbox and started ranting to no one in particular about such evils as atheism, homosexuality, and Tim Russert. He lacked only a sandwich board proclaiming, "The End is Near."
Next we come to a guy who embarasses even Tennessee Republicans, which, trust me, takes some doing. We get this, interestingly enough, via the Taipei Times, proving this fellow, James Hart, is mortifying the Volunteer State in places that previously had been unaware it existed:
An unabashed racist will represent the Republican party in the November election for a congressional seat after a write-in candidate failed to derail his effort.Via his campaign website we note the above, plus the following:
With 86 percent of the primary vote counted on Thursday, write-in candidate Dennis Bertrand had just 1,554 votes compared to 7,671, or 83 percent, for James Hart, a believer in the discredited, phony science of eugenics.
In November, the Republican candidate will oppose Representative John Tanner, a Democrat who has represented the northwest Tennessee district for 15 years.
Hart, 60, vows if elected to work toward keeping "less favored races" from reproducing or immigrating to the US.
Hart said he will have lots of time to campaign for the general election since he was forced Wednesday to resign from his job as a real estate salesman because of the attention he drew during the primary.
While campaigning, Hart sometimes wears a protective vest and carries a .40-caliber pistol, but he said he has run into no trouble.
"When I knock on a door and say white children deserve the same rights as everybody else, the enthusiastic response is truly amazing," he said.
If a black person opens the door, he says he simply drops off campaign literature and leaves.
Contributions should be made out to James Hart for congress committee and sent to PO Box 72, New Concord Ky. 42076.
Yup. He doesn't live in the district. Or even the state. He did win the primary last Thursday though, so it looks like they're stuck with him.
Listed last is this gentleman, Will Baker. You can get the boring mundane details from the (via SeattleTimes) but we think far better coverage can be obtained at Gen. JC Christian. Read from the wholly writ the General sent the fellow who recruited Mr. Baker:
Dear Chairman Vance,You know the General, ever vigilant about protecting the Little Soldiers of America. Go ye forth and do likewise. And think about these three bozos the next time somebody waves the "Karl Rove is a geeeenius" boogeyman at you.
You are to be congratulated for picking Will Baker as the Republican candidate for state auditor. Sure. there will be those who will criticize you for choosing a former exotic dancer who has been arrested 19 times, but they don't understand how valuable a state auditor with such experience could be.
As the founder of the Washington State Citizens' Morality Patrol, I spend a lot of time in clubs watching exotic dancers. I know the hold they can put over a man's mind.