corrente

George W. Bush, on a recent campain stop in Ohio, introduces VP Dick Cheney to the cheering enthusiastic assembly. Earlier Mr. Bush had entertained the gathering with a short folksy story of how he and Mr. Cheney had come to know each other as well as offering an optimistic reminder of the power and value of wishful thinking.

"I was riding my bike around the ranch in Crawford one afternoon and came across a Saudi Genie in a bottle and he granted me three wishes," says Mr. Bush. "My first wish was to be bathed in a vast sea of energy blessings and showered with gifts of entrepreneurial good cheer." (snickers) (audience laughter - whooping and applause) "Next I wished to be rewarded with the presidency of the USA and Dear Leadership of the whole wide world!" (applause) "And, for my third wish, I wished for a big time 12 inch prick ..... and the slippery son-of-a-bitch has been with me ever since!" (laughter) (applause) (whooping and grunting)

Mr. Bush, shouting above the now whooping and grunting crowd, declared of Mr. Cheney: "hes strong, he's steady, and he gets the job done!"

Mr. Cheney, aroused by the throbbing vibrating audience, suddenly appeared in Mr. Bush's right hand, mumble grumbled something to the effect that massaging his shiny bald head would go a long way to making fabulous dreams come true and then slumped over and disappeared into Mr. Bush's front pocket. The crowd erupted with orgiastic delight and began chanting "Dick Dick Dick we want Dick! He's our Leader's 12 inch prick!"

When asked if Mr. Cheney would accompany Mr. Bush on any future campaign flesh presser whistle stops in, oh, say Alabama, a spokesperson for the Bu$h camp told reporters: "Mr. Prick's, I mean Dick, I mean Cheney, Mr Cheney's!, schedule is a matter of personal consensual relationships, I mean national security, a matter of national security!, and any details concerning future arousals, I mean appearences!, will remain of an undisclosed private nature unless otherwise stimulated, I mean stated!, until otherwise stated!"

In other news: Republicans in Florida release an Absentee Flyer flyer...

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