corrente

This mysterious solicitation, discovered in Robert Novak's email inbox, was forwarded to me here at the Corrente News Network (CNN) via a reliable undisclosed source who lives above a rototiller repair shop in Georgetown. I have removed the original date of the correspondence and other header information for national security purposes. Mind you, it's probably nothing at all, ok! Nothing at all! You probably got one just like it yourself! Just so much unsolicited SPAM chatter. And we all know how annoying that can be.

ATTN: TRANSMITOR

Sir,
I CRAVE YOUR INDULGENCE AS I CONTACT YOU IN SUCH A SURPRISING MANNER, BUT I HAVE RESPECTFULLY INSIST THAT YOU READ THIS MAIL CAREFULLY AS I AM OPTIMISTIC THAT IT WILL OPEN DOORS FOR UNIMAGINABLE FUTURE REWARD FOR BOTH OF US. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THIS INFORMATION TRANSACTION MIGHT NOT FALL WITHIN THE WIDE SPECTRUM OF YOUR PROFESSIONS ETHICAL ACTIVITIES, BUT I PLEAD YOUR ASSISTANCE AS YOUR FLAIR FOR PROFITABLE POLITICAL INSIDER PATRONAGE IS HIGHLY APPRAISED

I am K ROV SOTUA from island nation of IVORY TOWER COAST and I am the personal driver to an important leader of my country till now when SPIES come striking and make recent situation uncomfortable.

On earlier date, I informed my leader of the need for less discomforting influences in certain sensitive ongoing supranational policy matters. Needs which might allow me to open a window where some unwelcome tension might be allowed to escape and send a particular message to others that discomfort is not welcome within my office and will not be tolerated when it makes tension for the designed purposes of my peoples and office.

Upon opening this window even slightly I might help particular significant insights to find a way to escape and visit themself upon those who bring tension to my family and organization. These particulars then being allowed to flow freely where they might and therefore deliver a valuable corrective educational lesson to those in need of such correction.

To my utmost amazement I suddenly find that I am in possesion of such valuable secret corrective educational particulars and insights! Which, should they be delivered effectively, provide exciting future career enhancing $opportunities$ to anyone willing to help me distribute such valuable secret knowledge through established high profile channels. Whats more I will speak to you on how you share with me in all advantages in future personal member enhancement remedies and provide taxing weight loss solutions.

That given. I would like to manage to find my way to a desirable future confidence location and share this valuable secret information in secure company with a coded professional consignment. Hopefuller therefore to target my valuable message to New York or London or especially select home address locations in Virginia USA. I need to distribute with you this important relevant confidence information so that it may impress itself upon any discomforting extraneous influences as soon as possible. Hence I am soliciting for your assistance. I trust you understand my offer.

Your compensation for further assistance will be lucrative, while the whole sum will be mapped out in future good-will installments which will continue well beyond November 2004.

Furthermore, you must keep this secret to the end and assure me of loyal representation on your part. I really require an ideologically sound partner who must be a GOD FEARING person and reliable. Again, I don't know much about your current personal needs, so I seek YOUR assistance.

I beg for the few following favours:

(1) Accept to be my secret partner.
(2) Advice me on the best way you feel this valuable knowlege can be conveniently invested for maximum impact and profitable return.
(3) Assist me to secure an anonymous persona and a safe network of communication.
(4) I request that you take a two days working visit to contact me for further clarifications and faster safer transactions.
(5) Assist me to make contact for us to disseminate this valuable secret knowlege and information I will give to you.

I stop here for now, Hope to hear from you soon by phone or return e-mail or disposable runaway teenage prostitute.

your frend KARLA SOTUA
You may reach me on: K_rov_1600@subrosa.gov

Still, it's weird ain't it? I don't know what it means. I guess I should probably just delete it. Afterall, I work for CNN, I really don't have time to listen to this kind of stupid shit.

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