Thursday, May 20, 2004
Chickening Out of the Draft
My Uncle Clyde was as patriotic as the next guy in 1941. His devotion to the American war effort led him on a different path though. Instead of rushing down to the recruiting center like everybody else (including his half-blind father-in-law, which is another story) he wisely sought his father's counsel on the subject. His dad arranged for him to contribute to victory by wrangling him a job in a chicken hatchery, which was a guaranteed draft deferrment as vital agricultural work.
Clyde worked as a chicken sexer. In those days (and maybe these days too for all I know) the newly hatched little yellow balls of fluff would roll out of their nests and into the hands of the cruel world of agribusiness in the person of my uncle. His task was to pick up each one, pry its little toothpick legs apart, and inspect the region between them to determine whether this was a future hen (guaranteed a long and happy life of egg production followed by a starring role in Sunday dinner) or a rooster. Those got tossed in a box and I never heard what became of them thereafter.
It was nice work if you could get it. Required a certain amount of standing but you got to go home to your wife every night (although if you knew Aunt Maxine that might not...well, best not go there). And it required building up an immunity to the sort of odors which accumulate around any area where chickens live, thrive, eat, lay eggs, and poop.
This discussion of chickenshit seemed an appropriate introduction to today's topic of "What The Hell Is Going On With This "Ready Reserve" Thing Anyway?"
We start in chronlogical order. One week ago, May 13, the mighty Army PR machine groaned and brought forth a press release which began thusly:
Enlistments in the military, you see, are sort of like the yin-yang symbol. You sign up for, say, six years. Three years are active duty, the other three years you are in this Ready Reserve thing and subject to callback. This has been virtually ignored for decades--it may have been used to some extent in Vietnam but the last really big callup under these provisions was the Korean War.
Today we hear--or at least people in the vicinity of Salem, Oregon hear--that this was all a big "oopsie." Per the Salem Oregonian:
"God only knows at this point where the miscommunication started," he said.
God may not. Gen. Helmly may not. But YOU do.
Clyde worked as a chicken sexer. In those days (and maybe these days too for all I know) the newly hatched little yellow balls of fluff would roll out of their nests and into the hands of the cruel world of agribusiness in the person of my uncle. His task was to pick up each one, pry its little toothpick legs apart, and inspect the region between them to determine whether this was a future hen (guaranteed a long and happy life of egg production followed by a starring role in Sunday dinner) or a rooster. Those got tossed in a box and I never heard what became of them thereafter.
It was nice work if you could get it. Required a certain amount of standing but you got to go home to your wife every night (although if you knew Aunt Maxine that might not...well, best not go there). And it required building up an immunity to the sort of odors which accumulate around any area where chickens live, thrive, eat, lay eggs, and poop.
This discussion of chickenshit seemed an appropriate introduction to today's topic of "What The Hell Is Going On With This "Ready Reserve" Thing Anyway?"
We start in chronlogical order. One week ago, May 13, the mighty Army PR machine groaned and brought forth a press release which began thusly:
"The Army's Human Resources Command - St. Louis (HRC-STL), is identifying Individual Ready Reserve Soldiers with a statutory Military Service Obligation (MSO) remaining for possible assignment to an Army Reserve unit. These Soldiers may be assigned to position vacancy requirements within designated Reserve units based upon the needs of the Army.
At this time, there have been no involuntary assignments of IRR Soldiers to any Army Reserve units. The HRC-STL is identifying IRR Soldiers for possible assignment."
Enlistments in the military, you see, are sort of like the yin-yang symbol. You sign up for, say, six years. Three years are active duty, the other three years you are in this Ready Reserve thing and subject to callback. This has been virtually ignored for decades--it may have been used to some extent in Vietnam but the last really big callup under these provisions was the Korean War.
Today we hear--or at least people in the vicinity of Salem, Oregon hear--that this was all a big "oopsie." Per the Salem Oregonian:
SALEM -- Thousands of recent U.S. Army veterans nationwide were told to choose by Monday a new assignment in the Army Reserve or National Guard -- meaning a potential return to active duty -- or the military would decide for them. The Army now says the order was a mistake.
The consequence of the error appears to be a sharp increase in enlistments in Oregon and elsewhere by reservists who feared being assigned a unit without their consent. They face possible deployment to the Middle East.
Lt. Gen. James R. Helmly, commander of the Army Reserve, declined comment on how the mistake was made, a spokesman said. How the mistaken order was issued is a mystery, said Steve Stromvall, the civilian public affairs director for the U.S. Army Reserve Command in Atlanta.
"God only knows at this point where the miscommunication started," he said.
God may not. Gen. Helmly may not. But YOU do.
