Monday, March 15, 2004

Life imitates art 

If you can call blogging an art. Awhile back, I thought it would make sense to wrap all the theocon's issues and concerns up into a big hairy humongous ball and have a constitutional amendment against evil, in the form of the Defense of Good Amendment:

Evil in the United States shall consist of the absence of good. Neither this Constitution or the constitution of any state, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to require that the status of goodness or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon the evil.
(back here)


It turns out that in Florida (not the part of Florida that shares Enlightenment values, the other part) they were doing the same thing, except—and I'm not making this up—they weren't joking:

[INGLIS, FLORIDA] "Be it known from this day forward," [Inglis Mayor Carolyn Risher's proclamation] began, "that Satan, ruler of darkness, giver of evil, destroyer of what is good and just, is not now, nor ever again will be, a part of this town of Inglis ... In the past, Satan has caused division, animosity, hate, confusion, ungodly acts on our youth, and discord among our friends and loved ones. NO LONGER!"

And finally:

"We exercise our authority over the devil in Jesus' name. By that authority, and through His Blessed Name, we command all satanic and demonic forces to cease their activities and depart the town of Inglis."

The mayor printed her proclamation on official stationery. She stamped it with a gold seal. She signed it and, along with Sally McCranie, the town clerk, made copies and stuffed them into four, hollowed-out wooden posts on which were painted "repent," "request," "resist."

Then, together with a local pastor, a town commissioner and the chief of police, the 62-year-old mayor went to each of Inglis' four entrances and, in the name of the town's 1,421 residents, fixed those messages of banishment into the very ground.

There's plenty more detail here.

Oh my. My head hurts.

I've already had two beers
and I'm ready for the broom
Please Mrs. Henry
won't you take me to my room
Please Mrs. Henry
Mrs. Henry please
Please Mrs. Henry
Mrs. Henry please
I'm down on my knees
And I ain't got a dime

OK. I feel better now. Sorry about that.

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