Tuesday, March 09, 2004
CNN ~ America's Company Store Media-Whore
The wowsers at CNN have rolled out quite a cacaphony of distractive flutter and frippery over the last fews days. Of course there is the usual monotone dirge from White House official statement reader-robot Wolf Blitzer.....which could probably charm a housefly into a deep snooze.
And then there is the seemingly omnipresent commentary from that cheery froggy-eyed GOP political operative (and American Enterprise Institute fellow) Bill Schneider. This little hopping toad is everywhere and almost always delivering some smiley golem-like analysis of some variety of campaign moonshine or another. My favorite is the ongoing eek-a-mouse story about how Hillary Clinton is coiled inside of some party cake somewhere just waiting to jump out and announce that John Kerry will be her Vice Presidential running mate in 2004! Booga-Booga!!
CNN loves this bit of Beltway cocktail party fantasia and wastes no advertising dollar time devoting hours and hours of backwind to such painted nonsense. Beats having to actually perform journailsm, or God forbid! - news reporting!
Case in point:
Blah blah blah. Except when you go to this CNN transcript page there is no transcribed discussion of Hillary as VP candidate at all. The transcript ends with the "Boat in Baltimore Capsizes" story. Apparently the company store scribes at CNN ran out of typing ribbon by the time they got to the Hillary part. Dag-nab-it! Gosh dern typing ribbon! Guess we can't finsih that transcript. Lets go to a cocktail party!
At least CNN has the fascist nutsack to simply disappear the whole thing as if it never happened. Very Argentine circa late 70's of them.
MSNBC on the other hand trys to sneakily disquise their transcripts with silly weasel word "CROSSTALK" references. "CROSSTALK" happens when someone on say Hardball, like Chris Mathews, yells out something really stupid. Which is frequently. For instance the other night when Mathew's said that Laura Bush was an asset to the Bush campaign's latest advertsing crusade, and popular, because Laura never talks. Yup, ya know, Laura is a good wifey and knows her first wifey place. And a good GOP traditional values wifey type doesn't care for all that messy politics yuck and keeps her mouth shut and reads kiddy books to whatever captured kiddies can be rounded up on any given Beltway afternoon. Yay.
Personally this kind of thing drives me nuts mainly because: 1- I'm extremely attracted to women who can not only swear like sailors, but also possess the patience to absorb the palpable stupidities of dupticitous assholes like Chris Mathews or a John Fund and then swoop down upon each one to pluck the eye-balls from their swollen pasty heads faster than you can say eat death you swollen pasty plucked up bastards!
All my girl-friends wear burr resistant silent stalker snake pants. And they are hot eyeball plucking killer bitches! Rock-on wild left wing assasin girls!
And 2- I'm extremely unattracted to DC Beltway dinner party gasbag whistle pigs like Mathews and Fund who can't seem to keep their own jawbones tied down long enough to absorb an answer their own inquiries and instead rattle off nervous reactionary babble like jumpy jabbering teenage soda-pop junkies. Both Fund and Mathews bug me to no end and remind me of every single annoying hitchhiker who has ever been deservedly slaughtered and buried under a mile marker sign this side of Stateline.
And no, I have never buried a hitchhiker in the desert on the outskirts of the Calico Ghost Town! No! It was all Digby's idea - go bother Digby if you want to dig up any of your stupid plucked up relatives! Why do you think he's called Dig-by? (Yes- its a joke - so just relax you creepy justice dept. weenies)
Moving along.
CNN grande master of ceremonies Jeff Greenfield also chimed in over the weekend with an excitable Bill Clinton Meteorite About To Strike The Earth! kickshaw. This one involved sinsiter bedroom styled talk (just between you and us folks at CNN) from shepherd Greenfield about Bill Clinton's possible VP appointment. Which seems not only preposterous on the surface but Constitutionally impossible otherwise. Except that boniface Jeffery didn't actually consult the US Constitution on any such matter but rather, in a hushed tone, suggested an editorial opinion which suggested that such inplausible abracadabra may in fact be plausible. And yackety-yack. Then Master of CNN blither blather Greenfield disappeared behind the curtain. Fuck the actual Constitution. Who needs that shit. Sir Greenfield understands the whorehouse piano tuning game.
Well, that Article would seem to apply to doods who were once, like, ya know, President!. All of this is of course lost on the mighty dinner party Greenfields of CNN who apparently believe that Bill Clinton might in fact launch some grand biblical battle against the US Constitution and Pontificus Pilate Bush between now and Nov., 2004. A battle which eventually allows THEM to champion the cause of a Clintonian Vice Presidency in November. Has anyone alerted John Kerry?! According to CNN both Hillary Clinton AND Bill Clinton are both poised to both be sworn to the Vice Presidency of the USA in January 2005! Oh MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like totally unbelievable man! Get a gun!
Here's another tract CNN and their little saponaceous serial writers are working on: (taking the lead from BushCo's latest talking points advertising dispatches)
The story about how John Kerry "flips flops" on issues. Which, surprise surprise! just so happens to be the theme of the latest BushCo re'lection campaign ads! Golly, how does that happen?
According to CNN, if you happened to trust and believe what BushCo told you about the War in Iraq for instance --- as apparently John Kerry and dozens of other Democrats and almost every single Republican born under the flag of Christendom did in 2003. (A war which CNN swallowed hook line and sinker, and provided a sexy theatrical "cakewalk" sound stage on behalf) ----- then you're ok with the program.
BUT! --- If you now question the LIES you were told about the "War in Iraq" (which CNN flattly refuses to do) --- AND, as John Kerry and many other Democrats and free-thinking Republicans have done --- then you are now labled a "flip flopper!"
A FLIP FLOPPER! and Flip Flop is "bad"! Its a "bad" focus group word in the land of CNN/GOP marketing and advertising! And Bill Schneider will pop out of a ficus plant to tell you over and over again that it's bad!
John Kerry=Flip Flop=bad!
CNN polls show that most Americans don't like "flip-flops" .....Chad! Have you heard that flip-flop's are bad - Chad!?
See.....according to the official company line at CNN (C-NoNews) and MSGOP/GE and BushCO and so on --- if someone tells you a lie ---- and you buy it --- then you are sworn to loyalty to that lie. For ever and ever. It's like a marriage stupid!
See --- If you realize you have been lied to and later question the lie you were told --- and dare to question the liars who told you that lie --- then you you are a "flip flopper" and should shut-up your fucking mouth and mind your own business! You are not a team player!
Which is why Kerry and and many others are now painted as "flip-floppers" by the Official State Media bootlicker spokesperson's at CNN and elsewhere.
The caged chirping swallows at CNN have their chirping orders.
Just listen: Let me know how many times over the next few days you hear some trained company TV-flea from CNN repeat the GOP BushCo campaign-ad buzz phrase "flip-flop" in almost any context. Take my word for it, they will say it any chance they get. Corporatist Propaganda knows no ethical limits. They (CNN) have none. Ethics are for losers!
CNN is NOT a journalistic enterprise. CNN is a whorehouse piano playing a pre-programmed jingle accompanied by a well kept high kicking coutesan chorus line.
Back to you Chad!
And then there is the seemingly omnipresent commentary from that cheery froggy-eyed GOP political operative (and American Enterprise Institute fellow) Bill Schneider. This little hopping toad is everywhere and almost always delivering some smiley golem-like analysis of some variety of campaign moonshine or another. My favorite is the ongoing eek-a-mouse story about how Hillary Clinton is coiled inside of some party cake somewhere just waiting to jump out and announce that John Kerry will be her Vice Presidential running mate in 2004! Booga-Booga!!
CNN loves this bit of Beltway cocktail party fantasia and wastes no advertising dollar time devoting hours and hours of backwind to such painted nonsense. Beats having to actually perform journailsm, or God forbid! - news reporting!
Case in point:
Will Hillary Clinton Be Next VP Candidate?; Boat In Baltimore Harbor Capsizes. - CNN LIVE SATURDAY: "Well, she used to be a first lady, now she's a senator. Could Hillary Clinton's next job be second on a presidential ticket? We'll handicap John Kerry's choices for running mate." - Aired March 6, 2004 - 18:00 ET
Blah blah blah. Except when you go to this CNN transcript page there is no transcribed discussion of Hillary as VP candidate at all. The transcript ends with the "Boat in Baltimore Capsizes" story. Apparently the company store scribes at CNN ran out of typing ribbon by the time they got to the Hillary part. Dag-nab-it! Gosh dern typing ribbon! Guess we can't finsih that transcript. Lets go to a cocktail party!
At least CNN has the fascist nutsack to simply disappear the whole thing as if it never happened. Very Argentine circa late 70's of them.
MSNBC on the other hand trys to sneakily disquise their transcripts with silly weasel word "CROSSTALK" references. "CROSSTALK" happens when someone on say Hardball, like Chris Mathews, yells out something really stupid. Which is frequently. For instance the other night when Mathew's said that Laura Bush was an asset to the Bush campaign's latest advertsing crusade, and popular, because Laura never talks. Yup, ya know, Laura is a good wifey and knows her first wifey place. And a good GOP traditional values wifey type doesn't care for all that messy politics yuck and keeps her mouth shut and reads kiddy books to whatever captured kiddies can be rounded up on any given Beltway afternoon. Yay.
Personally this kind of thing drives me nuts mainly because: 1- I'm extremely attracted to women who can not only swear like sailors, but also possess the patience to absorb the palpable stupidities of dupticitous assholes like Chris Mathews or a John Fund and then swoop down upon each one to pluck the eye-balls from their swollen pasty heads faster than you can say eat death you swollen pasty plucked up bastards!
All my girl-friends wear burr resistant silent stalker snake pants. And they are hot eyeball plucking killer bitches! Rock-on wild left wing assasin girls!
And 2- I'm extremely unattracted to DC Beltway dinner party gasbag whistle pigs like Mathews and Fund who can't seem to keep their own jawbones tied down long enough to absorb an answer their own inquiries and instead rattle off nervous reactionary babble like jumpy jabbering teenage soda-pop junkies. Both Fund and Mathews bug me to no end and remind me of every single annoying hitchhiker who has ever been deservedly slaughtered and buried under a mile marker sign this side of Stateline.
And no, I have never buried a hitchhiker in the desert on the outskirts of the Calico Ghost Town! No! It was all Digby's idea - go bother Digby if you want to dig up any of your stupid plucked up relatives! Why do you think he's called Dig-by? (Yes- its a joke - so just relax you creepy justice dept. weenies)
Moving along.
CNN grande master of ceremonies Jeff Greenfield also chimed in over the weekend with an excitable Bill Clinton Meteorite About To Strike The Earth! kickshaw. This one involved sinsiter bedroom styled talk (just between you and us folks at CNN) from shepherd Greenfield about Bill Clinton's possible VP appointment. Which seems not only preposterous on the surface but Constitutionally impossible otherwise. Except that boniface Jeffery didn't actually consult the US Constitution on any such matter but rather, in a hushed tone, suggested an editorial opinion which suggested that such inplausible abracadabra may in fact be plausible. And yackety-yack. Then Master of CNN blither blather Greenfield disappeared behind the curtain. Fuck the actual Constitution. Who needs that shit. Sir Greenfield understands the whorehouse piano tuning game.
But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice Presiedent of the United States. ~ US Constitution, Article XII
Well, that Article would seem to apply to doods who were once, like, ya know, President!. All of this is of course lost on the mighty dinner party Greenfields of CNN who apparently believe that Bill Clinton might in fact launch some grand biblical battle against the US Constitution and Pontificus Pilate Bush between now and Nov., 2004. A battle which eventually allows THEM to champion the cause of a Clintonian Vice Presidency in November. Has anyone alerted John Kerry?! According to CNN both Hillary Clinton AND Bill Clinton are both poised to both be sworn to the Vice Presidency of the USA in January 2005! Oh MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like totally unbelievable man! Get a gun!
Here's another tract CNN and their little saponaceous serial writers are working on: (taking the lead from BushCo's latest talking points advertising dispatches)
The story about how John Kerry "flips flops" on issues. Which, surprise surprise! just so happens to be the theme of the latest BushCo re'lection campaign ads! Golly, how does that happen?
According to CNN, if you happened to trust and believe what BushCo told you about the War in Iraq for instance --- as apparently John Kerry and dozens of other Democrats and almost every single Republican born under the flag of Christendom did in 2003. (A war which CNN swallowed hook line and sinker, and provided a sexy theatrical "cakewalk" sound stage on behalf) ----- then you're ok with the program.
BUT! --- If you now question the LIES you were told about the "War in Iraq" (which CNN flattly refuses to do) --- AND, as John Kerry and many other Democrats and free-thinking Republicans have done --- then you are now labled a "flip flopper!"
A FLIP FLOPPER! and Flip Flop is "bad"! Its a "bad" focus group word in the land of CNN/GOP marketing and advertising! And Bill Schneider will pop out of a ficus plant to tell you over and over again that it's bad!
John Kerry=Flip Flop=bad!
CNN polls show that most Americans don't like "flip-flops" .....Chad! Have you heard that flip-flop's are bad - Chad!?
See.....according to the official company line at CNN (C-NoNews) and MSGOP/GE and BushCO and so on --- if someone tells you a lie ---- and you buy it --- then you are sworn to loyalty to that lie. For ever and ever. It's like a marriage stupid!
See --- If you realize you have been lied to and later question the lie you were told --- and dare to question the liars who told you that lie --- then you you are a "flip flopper" and should shut-up your fucking mouth and mind your own business! You are not a team player!
Which is why Kerry and and many others are now painted as "flip-floppers" by the Official State Media bootlicker spokesperson's at CNN and elsewhere.
The caged chirping swallows at CNN have their chirping orders.
Just listen: Let me know how many times over the next few days you hear some trained company TV-flea from CNN repeat the GOP BushCo campaign-ad buzz phrase "flip-flop" in almost any context. Take my word for it, they will say it any chance they get. Corporatist Propaganda knows no ethical limits. They (CNN) have none. Ethics are for losers!
CNN is NOT a journalistic enterprise. CNN is a whorehouse piano playing a pre-programmed jingle accompanied by a well kept high kicking coutesan chorus line.
Back to you Chad!
