Thursday, February 05, 2004

Bush the Piranha Brother 


"We have not yet found the stockpiles of weapons that we thought were there," Bush said in a speech at the port of Charleston, South Carolina, in his clearest acknowledgment of problems with prewar intelligence on Iraqi weapons.

What do you mean, "we"?

However, he said, "Knowing what I knew then and knowing what I know today, America did the right thing in Iraq."

In a speech that laid out a political defense of his Iraq policy in an election year, Bush also blasted critics of the war, saying, "If some politicians in Washington had their way, Saddam Hussein would still be in power."

Maybe so. And?

The problem here is that Bush has also instituted the new doctrine of pre-emptive war. And that doctrine combined with cherry-picked, politicized intelligence combined with decisions taken in secret is a recipe for war with any country, at any time, for the smallest reason, or no reason, whenever the President decides; two, three, many Iraqs. Maybe even war just to win an election. (See Leah, below for a far more analytical perspective on this.)

This lethal combination turns our country from a constitutionally governed Republic into the international equivalent of the Piranha Brothers, with Bush as Dinsdale Piranha:

INTERVIEWER: Stig, I've been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor.

STIG: (Eric) No, no. Never, never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to give his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me.

PRESENTER: But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor.

STIG: (pause) Oh yeah, well - he did that, yeah.


STIG: Well he had to, didn't he? I mean, be fair, there was nothing else he could do. I mean, I had transgressed the unwritten law.

INTERVIEWER: What had you done?

STIG: Er... well he never told me that, but he gave me his word that it was the case, and that's good enough for me
with old Dinsy. I mean, he didn't want to nail my head to the floor. I had to insist. He wanted to let me off. There's nothing Dinsdale wouldn't do for you..

INTERVIEWER: And you don't bear him any grudge?

STIG: A grudge! Old Dinsy? He was a real darling.

INTERVIEWER: I understand he also nailed your wife's head to a coffee table. Isn't that right Mrs O' Tracy?

Right. And I'm sure that knowing what he did then, and knowing what he does now, Dinsdale Piranha would still have nailed Stig's head to the floor. Pre-emptively.

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