corrente

The beguiling whisperd allure of homosexuality.

We've all heard of it, some have answered it's call at one time or another, some perhaps more often than others, but nevertheless, no matter how we may resist, we have all been courted by it's talisman and inticed by it's winsome ways, and invited to cross over into the enigmatical lambent light of the fairy-ring; to dance till dawn to the thumping fast paced techno rhythms of Bronski Beat.

In a heroic, yet brutally honest essay, General JC Christian extends a sympathetic helping hand to a confused fellow patriot while simultaneously recounting for us his own ambush by the powerful persuasive elixir of manly attractions that constitutes the homosexual beckon. Except in the following case, with thanks to Strawberry Alarm Clock, all musical accompaniment credits go to Lynyrd Skynyrd.

I'm very worried that you'll fall under the spell of his homo-mojo, a particularly strong form of magic that is irresistible. I know. It's felled me many times. One minute my eyes will be drawn to a particularly manly bulge straining hard against the fabric of jeans so tight they look painted on and the next I'll be on my knees in the back room of a bar surrounded by hairy bikers who don't own motorcycles.

This reminds me of my own college years (the hairy biker guys who don't own motorcycles part that is), which would include my own brother-in-law who is one of my best friends and who to this day owns a van with the honorific "Freebird" airbrushed across the sidepanels. Not the other part! Stop thinking that! We don't wear tight fitting bulge straining jeans anymore. No, that would be obscene. We wear Carhartt bib overalls and Silent Weave snake pants with mossy oak breakup patterns because they repel homosexuality, especially in very cold weather!

Nevermind. Lets continue with the General's observations on the enemy's menacing flanking tactics.

With each of these victories, Satan's power increases, and he begins to look for new targets to seduce. Unfortunately, it looks like we are now in his sights. It's really not that unexpected. If he can turn us, he'll bring down our ministries and sodomy will become the new NASCAR.

As I mentioned earlier, the General has recounted his own personal experience battling Satan's sodomite legions and has risked his own life to help reassure, and even rescue, a fellow patriot under fire. That's what real manly hero warriors do for their men. And that patriot who needs comfort, The Pastor Fred Phelps, has become so engaged in a viscious fire-fight with the Marxist homosexual terror that he must always travel with a large placard nailed to a stick which he uses as a kind of giant fly-swatter to repel the ceaseless attacks upon his Christian manlyhood by swarms of unholy homosexual collectivist insurgents.

The General salutes Pastor Fred's brave sacrifices on behalf of his country and Christianity and the Baptist faith and the cottonwood state and the Spray Paint Manufacturers of America and whatever,.... but nevermind that, the General also recognizes the pastor's need for love and manly bonding in these final days.

We'll watch my extensive collection of gladiator movies. We'll eat frito pie and fart and punch each other in the shoulder. ~ Gen. JC Christian, Patriot

And so the General offers a fellow warrior a hot meal, a shelter from the storm, and an opportunity to unwind on friendly brotherly ground. I'd like to believe that the General's invitation to rest and relaxation will also involve a free Hawaiian shirt and a couple of friendly bar girls from down near Keehi Lagoon, although I can not verify this belief at the time of this writing. But so what. Whats the point of verifiying a belief? That defeats the whole purpose of believing something in the first place; as President Bush has repeatedly explained to the nation. Verify, schmerify, that's what I say.

Anyway, I urge you to read the General's full post in order to fully appreciate the depth of the General's commitment to heterosexual freedom and our nations' God given right to initiate, operate, and enforce a global endtimes "punishment chamber".

Addendum: Unfortunately it may be too late to save NASCAR and Frito-Lay from the Lorelei of homosexuality.

I personally have visited, even lived among the people, in homosexual staging and deployment areas such as Provincetown MA and Key West FL. In Fairfax Virginia (which is a hotbed of homosexual insurrection) I learned from an undisclosed source about a group called the LPGA (Lesbian Professional Golf Association), and must now point out that the LPGA has been fully infiltrated by ideological agents of the the homosexual agenda. Whats more, and this is alarming, the LPGA has managed to seduce not only NASCAR auto patriots, but a large portion of the nations snack food industry including Kraft/Nabisco. How long will it be before Frito-Lay submits to the pink femi-terror?

So in this case I'm afraid the the General may be receiving unreliable, or at least understated, intel with respect to the full extent of the homosexual terror threat.

To emphasize my point I have included the following mysterious coded contact information which points to little known documentation which substantiates my previous intelligence findings and conclusions. Make of it what you will. I have investigated each entry and determined that each threat is real and poses an imminent threat (possibly within the next 45 minutes) to innerant global heterosexual patriarchal Christian hegemony as we know it.

THREAT - SEE: LPGA Kraft Nabisco Lesbian Snack Food Championship.
http://www.lpga.com/tournament_microsite.aspx?id=272

THREAT - SEE: The Inaugural Daytona - Flaming NASCAR Lesbian 500 - LPGA Charity Golf Classic Presented by Queen Racing Grande Champion Gayle.
http://www.lpga.com/Content_1.aspx?pid=387&mid=4

What traditional manly bonding institutions will the homosexual lobby infiltrate next? Ice fishing? We'll see. I'm off to the cowpond to investigate.

::End morning Corrente intelligence analysis briefing.
Thank you for your attention to the above matters.

Yours in service to the nation, "the farmer".

And by the way...whatever did become of the Strawberry Alarm Clock?