Sunday, January 11, 2004
When Losers are Winners - and vice versa
From Liberal Coalition member Respectful of Otters
Hey man, far out, where's my old MC5 records! Where's my Spiro Agnew dartboard. Where's my....uh, what was I looking for? Where's my circa 70's power hitter bong.
Just for the historical record, back before college students had powerful personal computers many had personal power hitter bongs. And bongs were a lot easier to operate. So I'm told. But never mind that, so much bong-water under the bridge as they say, what really needs to be emphasized here is that way back in the 60's and early 70's folks also had other "political love-in" options. Not to mention sex-starved parties. I went, I mean I once spoke with someone, who went to a bunch of those hippie sex-parties myself and lemme tell you, Strom "Spawn" Thurmond wasn't at any one of them. Nope. Theres one thing Strom Thurmond wasn't, and that was a sex-starved hippie loser. Nosiree, that guy would fuck anything attached to a cocktail napkin and a beehive hairdo. Strom was never "starved". If you know what I mean. Where do you think the Eagle Forum came from anyway? Sheesh.
And another thing. Will someone on the Right-wing or the SCLM, or whoever, please make up their mind about what decade they'd like to hallucinate in. You know, if Howard Dean is like George McGovern, well. uh, I got news for you, George McGovern was the Dem candidate in 1972. Not the 60's. That was another guy whose name I forgot. Hubert! Yes, that was it, Humbert Hubert Humbert. No wait, that was a sex-starved guy from the "Pre-Feminst" 50's. Ay yi yi.
Anyway, if you're looking for other 60's-70's style "political love-in" party options I have a suggestion. How about this one:
Yeah baby! That guy sure knew how to party. And of course anyone who didn't go to that guy's party was a "loser", man. Like all those McGovernites. What a bunch of "losers".
Thats right, everyone who voted for Tricky Dick Nixon was a winner! And they voted for that winner in droves. Yup, the whole country was a big fucking winner in 1972 because they voted for a liar and a crook and a national disaster. Kind of like voting for an earthquake or something. Hey, wait a minute, that sounds eerily familiar. But nevermind.
Dick Cheney, who worked for the Nixon White House Cost of Living Council and Office of Economic Opportunity, was also a big winner. And now we're all winners because Dick Cheney is a winner again. Ya just can't keep a good winner down. And what other winner worked for Nixon's OEC? Uh-oh...it was Nixon administration winner Don Rumsfeld. Gee, all those repeat winners in one place, its a wonder anyone can be a loser these days.
Except for all those Howard McGovern hippie type throwbacks from some decade or another. Boy are they losers. I'll bet they'll make the mistake in 2004 of voting for a loser again and the entire nation will once again be a winner when they select a silver spoon fed born winner and liar and crook and national disgrace to four more years. But who cares. That'll just make Dick Cheney a three-time winner and all real-Murican patriotic "pre-feminist" Christian sorts love a winner.
Gives a whole groovy new meaning to the charge of loser, now doesn't it?
Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight
As avowed liberals, we here at Respectful of Otters live lives of wild and irresponsible hedonism. Tonight being the first Wednesday of the month, we're off to
a revamping of the "political love-in" from the '60s, where pot-smoking hippies would use politics as a guise for picking up dates. Now, Dean -- having "liberated" the gays of the state of Vermont by legislating civil unions, much in the same way he might imagine that Lincoln "liberated" the slaves -- is out to "free" every sex-starved, party-deprived Democrat and give them what they really want: a good time.
Seriously, if you folks have never been to boozy sex parties organized by precinct, you should give the Dean Meetups a try. I know there's nothing like letter-writing and phone banking to put me in the mood.
Hey man, far out, where's my old MC5 records! Where's my Spiro Agnew dartboard. Where's my....uh, what was I looking for? Where's my circa 70's power hitter bong.
Just for the historical record, back before college students had powerful personal computers many had personal power hitter bongs. And bongs were a lot easier to operate. So I'm told. But never mind that, so much bong-water under the bridge as they say, what really needs to be emphasized here is that way back in the 60's and early 70's folks also had other "political love-in" options. Not to mention sex-starved parties. I went, I mean I once spoke with someone, who went to a bunch of those hippie sex-parties myself and lemme tell you, Strom "Spawn" Thurmond wasn't at any one of them. Nope. Theres one thing Strom Thurmond wasn't, and that was a sex-starved hippie loser. Nosiree, that guy would fuck anything attached to a cocktail napkin and a beehive hairdo. Strom was never "starved". If you know what I mean. Where do you think the Eagle Forum came from anyway? Sheesh.
And another thing. Will someone on the Right-wing or the SCLM, or whoever, please make up their mind about what decade they'd like to hallucinate in. You know, if Howard Dean is like George McGovern, well. uh, I got news for you, George McGovern was the Dem candidate in 1972. Not the 60's. That was another guy whose name I forgot. Hubert! Yes, that was it, Humbert Hubert Humbert. No wait, that was a sex-starved guy from the "Pre-Feminst" 50's. Ay yi yi.
Anyway, if you're looking for other 60's-70's style "political love-in" party options I have a suggestion. How about this one:
Yeah baby! That guy sure knew how to party. And of course anyone who didn't go to that guy's party was a "loser", man. Like all those McGovernites. What a bunch of "losers".
Thats right, everyone who voted for Tricky Dick Nixon was a winner! And they voted for that winner in droves. Yup, the whole country was a big fucking winner in 1972 because they voted for a liar and a crook and a national disaster. Kind of like voting for an earthquake or something. Hey, wait a minute, that sounds eerily familiar. But nevermind.
Dick Cheney, who worked for the Nixon White House Cost of Living Council and Office of Economic Opportunity, was also a big winner. And now we're all winners because Dick Cheney is a winner again. Ya just can't keep a good winner down. And what other winner worked for Nixon's OEC? Uh-oh...it was Nixon administration winner Don Rumsfeld. Gee, all those repeat winners in one place, its a wonder anyone can be a loser these days.
Except for all those Howard McGovern hippie type throwbacks from some decade or another. Boy are they losers. I'll bet they'll make the mistake in 2004 of voting for a loser again and the entire nation will once again be a winner when they select a silver spoon fed born winner and liar and crook and national disgrace to four more years. But who cares. That'll just make Dick Cheney a three-time winner and all real-Murican patriotic "pre-feminist" Christian sorts love a winner.
Gives a whole groovy new meaning to the charge of loser, now doesn't it?
