corrente

Here's a story that takes a little [reading between the lines]. From AP here:

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. -- A 7-year-old boy [Bush] had to be rescued with the help of a locksmith Saturday after crawling into a supermarket's stuffed animal game machine [the war in Iraq] while his father [Bush pere? Cheney?] talked on the telephone.

[Shift Commander Mark Zittel of the Sheboygan Fire Department] said that the boy, whose name was not released because he is a minor [yep, it's George], crawled through about an 8-inch-by-10-inch opening to get into the glass enclosure via a chute where the toys come out, but when he tried to get back out his way was blocked [poor planning!].

The stuffed animals are prizes [oil] that can be hooked by players with a crane-like device [the military].

"His dad was three feet away at a pay [Yep, Cheney. Calling Hallliburton.] phone," Zittel said. "He was talking on the phone and he said the next thing he turned around and the kid was in the thing."

He said the boy stayed calm and didn't panic [Really? See below] as firefighters responded to the Piggly Wiggly store and then moved the game machine to the back of the store and got a locksmith to open the main loading door. The process took about an hour."

The boy was not injured or traumatized but desperately had to go to the bathroom, he said.

George Bush omorashi!

But who will be shift commander Mark Zittel? And who will be the locksmith? Who will rescue George from his embarassing predicament?

NOTE: See Darwin Awards here.

UPDATE: Alert reader Pete reminds us that The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool... by removing themselves from it. Of necessity, this honor is bestowed posthumously" (from the cite). But I think the really, really stupid are deserving of this honor as well. After all, they Truly Dense also have, or will have, a hard time passing on their genes, through inability to figure out what to do, who to do it with, when and where to do it, etc.