Friday, August 05, 2005

That slithery sound you hear is a Beltway Dem positioning itself for a Presidential run 

Yeah, yeah, big tent. But the peasants with pitchforks aren't always inside the tent, know what I mean?

Here's what we at least want. The Kos "litmus test":

[1] Does candidate 'distance himself' from the party and/or its leaders, or is he proud to be a Democrat?

[2] Does he talk like a bureaucrat or like a regular person?

[3] Does she make it clear that she opposes Bush and the Republicans?

[4] Does she back down when the corporate press/media or Republican pundits attack him, or does she stand by her words?

[5] Does he sleepwalk through the campaign, or does he act like he wants to win?
(via Kos)

I thought of The Litmus Test when I read this wretched little crotte-esque effusion from Evan "Buh" Bayh:

Democratic Sen. Evan Bayh, a possible presidential candidate in 2008, said Thursday that his party lacks credibility on national security and needs to convince Americans that Democrats are willing to use force when necessary.

"Unless the American people know that we will be good stewards of the nation's security, they're unlikely to trust us with anything else," said the two-term Indiana senator. "That's a very important threshold we have to get over."

"Many Americans wonder if we're willing to use force to defend the country even under the most compelling of circumstances," Bayh said. "The majority of Democrats would answer that question that, yes, there is a right place and a right time. We don't get to have that discussion because many people don't think we have the backbone."

Bayh has spent three days in Iowa, the first presidential caucus state, attending party fundraisers and meeting privately with activists who play a crucial role in Democratic politics.

And now comes the zinger. I've got to stop drinking coffee while I do this; I almost lost another keyboard:

Bayh said he would make a decision on a presidential bid after next year's midterm elections, basing it, in part, on whether he has a realistic chance of winning the nomination.

"Is this a sensible thing to do?" he said. "I've never been a big person for fool's errands. I think you have to conclude you have some prospect of being successful."

Let me clue you in, Evan. (May I call you Evan?) You don't pass the litmus test.

[1] Evan, you distanced yourself from the Party. Merciful heavens! National security should be ours! Take it to the Republicans on armor! Take it to the Republicans on "facts and intelligence were fixed around the policy." Take it the Republicans that the IEDs are made from the ordinance Bush didn't secure after the war because He thought the Iraqis would be throwing us roses! Take it to the Republicans that recruitment numbers are tanking because Iraq is a Bush clusterfuck and everybody, especially the parents, knows it! The Iraq War is theirs to lose, and they're losing it! And everybody outside the Beltway 500 knows it!

[2] Evan, you talk like a bureaucrat. Listen to the man: "A very important threshold we have to get over," forsooth? Words to stir the blood! Nobody cares about all this internal party mechanics stuff, Evan. They care about you, and what you are doing. And one very good surrogate test for you being willing to defend our country is you "become willing" to defend yourself—and your constituents—from attack. The Republicans are following their playbook, and attacking Democrats every day. Politically, economically, culturally, spiritually, in all ways. That's what they do. That's what many of them are paid to do. So why don't you, personally, take a baby step over the threshold yourself, and punch back where they are punching us? But what do we get instead? More mealy-mouthed Beltway consultant-driven palaver about the dirty laundry of process. Gaaah! Just do it!

[3] Evan, you don't make it clear that you opposes Bush and the Republicans. Re-read this: More words to stir the blood:

"I've never been a big person for fool's errands. I think you have to conclude you have some prospect of being successful."

Wow, way to hammer home those Democratic principles, Evan. Way to give me a real reason to vote for you. Way to ... Eesh, this is worse than B.S.S., I've got to stop...

Another Washington General, after raising some money and sucking the media oxygen, is regretfully going to decide not to run. But you know something? The Washington Generals never win anyhow!

Buh-bye, Evan....

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