Tuesday, May 17, 2005

"Sunday Night" at CNN: the Clowntown Noise Network 

and other crazy bullshit that makes no sense.

Did anyone catch last weekends thrilling episode of CNN Sunday Night starring Carol Lin with special guest co-star David Gergen? It was very hilarious. In a thrilling dramatic way. Yet, at the same time, pathetic. And ultimately tragic. In any case it was sumpin'. It made me laugh, it made me cry. It made me want to poke a pundit in the eye. Unfortunately CNN has somehow misplaced this particular episode and I couldn't find it on their website, but, it popped up nicely in LexNex and so here it is for you now (bold and dramatic, yet seasonally cheerful, emphasis below is mine):

CNN SUNDAY NIGHT 10:00 PM EST | May 15, 2005 Sunday TRANSCRIPT: 051501CN.V89 | SECTION: NEWS; International

HEADLINE: 'Newsweek' Editors Admit They Made Mistake; In Iraq Today, a Surprise Visit by Condoleezza Rice

BYLINE: Carol Lin, Suzanne Malveaux, Drew Griffin, Jane Arraf GUESTS: David Gergen, Joyce Agu, Yutenna Agu, Fawaz Gerges, Al Sharpton, Stacey Honowitz, Jayne Weintraub


HIGHLIGHT: A respected American newsmagazine ran with a piece of shaky reporting and 15 people were killed after anti-American riots flared and spread across the Muslim world. In Iraq today, a surprise visit by Condoleezza Rice, her first time there as secretary of state.

DAVID GERGEN, FORMER WHITE HOUSE ADVISOR: I imagine it was quite sharp and angry and we have certainly not heard the last words on this. This is mushrooming into a serious and very ugly controversy that is going to be with us now for a while and I think it is going to take uncertain turns, but I can guarantee you that the Pentagon is extremely angry and that anger will extend to the White House and the State Department and well into many friends of the administration who feel that this story has not only cost lives but endangered American troop and it may bring some danger to America's position in Afghanistan.

So we haven't heard the end of it. I do have a relationship with the friendly rival of "Newsweek," the "U.S. News" but in this case I am very sympathetic to the people at "Newsweek" for what they must be going - It must be sheer hell for them now ...

LIN: Right.

For a minute there I thought Gergen was going to douse himself with lighter fluid, strike a match and go up in a charred gooey blaze like a marshmallow at a campfire. Fortunately Mr. Gergen composes himself and fights back!:

GERGEN: But they do have a situation where there are two terrible mistakes made here. One by "Newsweek" and one by the person who misled them. Now, frankly, Carol, I hope before this is over we unmask the identity of this anonymous government official who misled them in the first place.

It's - they didn't do this story making it up of whole cloth, someone told them this.

LIN: Well, I want to talk about the issue of anonymous sourcing in just a moment, but give us also some perspective. I mean, have you ever heard of a single news report, in this case it was really just a few paragraphs in a specialized section of "Newsweek" magazine called "Periscope." Have you ever heard of a single news report that resulted in mass rioting, much less more than a dozen deaths?

Uh, H.G. Wells, The War of the Worlds? How many died in that media fracas? Or how about the time that horrible Likudnik toad Ariel Sharon waddled aboard the Dome of the Rock in 2000? No? Ok...moving along:

GERGEN: No. I never have. Even Abu Ghraib didn't lead to this. And of course there is a degree to which this is being exploited by anti-American forces in Afghanistan, Pakistan and other Muslim nations, they are seizing upon this as a way to paint America in yet another Abu Ghraib kind of situation. So it's being exploited against us, but no, I have never, I don't think anybody can recall - We have had terrible journalistic scandals, mistakes, flaps, but I can't recall any one of them that has sparked protests in so many countries and led to so many deaths.

LIN: And think about the consequences here at home. I mean, a recent Gallup Poll indicates that American confidence in the media to report fairly and accurately is at an historic low. I think it is at 43 or 44 percent of Americans, only 43, 44 percent of Americans believe that the media is capable of doing that.

And you take a look at this last election, I mean, what is red state America, or Main Street America supposed to conclude about the media if a reputable magazine, widely spread magazine such as "Newsweek" can make these sorts of mistakes? Is it easier to conclude that there is a liberal media bias out there that is not only inaccurately reporting but also endangering American lives?

"what is red state America... supposed to conclude..." Jeezis. The crap ya hear when ya don't have a noisy toilet to flush it down. But that's what the American Enterprise Institu..., I mean Time Warner!, CNN Time Warner! - - that's what CNN/Time Warner pays Carol the BIG SEXY BUCKS for! Carol's a real trooper. A regular fountain of buzzphrase babble surrounded by a cozy moat full of wet BULLSHIT. A well practiced professional bullshit artist who willingly scoops and dishes it out in front of a hot TV camera day in and day out - cheerily - spooning up shovelfuls of official GOP/Pentagon approved bullshit statements and hell-popping horse cocky involving all manner of WMD's and sneaky bio-chemical weapons labs and disinformation and misinformation and outright lies and doctored intel and forty five minutes to nucular annihilation boo-scare stories in the cause of Commander Skybox's fabulous Cakewalk liberation Crusade to the cradle of civilization. Have some yellowcake! Carol helped bake it herself! Gergen rallies to the cause:

GERGEN: I think based on what we know now it is a mistake to say this is a liberal media bias. Some are going to say, well, they seized on something which made America look bad and therefore they printed it. I don't think that is what it was. The mistake here is that there is a rush in the media now, because it is so competitive and everybody is competing for the time and attention of readers and viewers, that there is a rush to get things into print. There is a - and there is a violation of one of the first rules of journalism, and that is get it first, but first get it right. And what we see here is an example when they went with a single source, they rushed into print with something, they did take it to another government official and he didn't wave them off, but they went - that wasn't a confirmation, so they only had a single source, so I think that that's going to be - they're getting really hung on that right now and -

Yeah Gergen, that "rush" to get that big Koran in the toilet bowl story out there must-a-been quite a run for the roses. Especially when you've got one of Karl Rove's or Michael Ledeen's little ratfucking pocket jockeys riding up top and whipping at your eyes. Gergen gallops on:

Carol, this could still take some unexpected twists. Michael Isikoff, who is a well-regarded reporter, is reported by "Newsweek" to be reporting other leads which suggests that there are other people who are saying these kinds of things happened in Guantanamo, so let's - I think we shouldn't - this is not time for us to reach final judgment, either.

LIN: All right. And it's not the last we are going to hear of it.

Good God I suspect not. On next weeks CNN Sunday Night Carol will reveal that the Traveling Wilbank ran away from the holy hitchin' post because Michael Isikoff had promised to set her up in a motel room in Bullhead City Nevada! Hot stuff! So, just to be on the safe side, lets help Spikey with some other leads before he really does wind up in a motel room in Bullhead City. Granted, I couldn't find any mention of anonymous Field Marshals or unnamed Five Star Generals or senior Lords of the Realm willing to go on the record in any of these past reports below, but, hey, who the sheer hell cares - and - granted, most of these old reports reference the same old "Tipton Three" story. But, well, ya know what they say...it's the thought that counts.

Yorkshire Post, November 1, 2004 | Tipton Three turn on the trauma for £22m... injected with "unknown substances", and had their Korans thrown into the toilets.

DAILY MAIL (London), October 28, 2004, ED_3RD; Pg. 1; Pg. 2, TIPTON THREE SUE FOR Pounds 22M, DUNCAN GARDHAM... guards threw prisoners' Korans into toilets

DAILY MAIL (London), October 28, 2004, ED_3RD; Pg. 1; Pg. 2, TIPTON THREE SUE FOR Pounds 22M, DUNCAN GARDHAM... guards threw prisoners' Korans into toilets

The Express, October 28, 2004, U.K. 3rd Edition; NEWS; Pg. 4, GUANTANAMO BRITONS WILL SUE US FOR £22M, By Lianne Kolirin... guards threw prisoners' Korans into toilets

Irish News, October 28, 2004, Pg. 26, British men detained at Guantanamo sue US government for rights abuses;... guards threw prisoners' Korans into toilets

Press Association, October 27, 2004, Wednesday, HOME NEWS, GUANTANAMO BRITONS SUE US GOVERNMENT, Mark Sage, PA News, in New York... guards threw prisoners' Korans into toilets

Belfast Telegraph, August 5, 2004, Father demands release of his British son after claims of torture at Guantanamo Bay, By Andrew Buncombe in Washington... allegedly threw prisoners' Korans into toilets, while others were injected with ...

Birmingham Post, August 5, 2004, Thursday, First Edition; NEWS; Pg. 2, TIPTON TRIO CLAIM THEY WERE TORTURED BY ALLIES, EMMA PINCH A detainee is led by military police to be interrogated by military officials at Camp X-Ray at the US Naval Base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba; Asif Iqbal, Rhuhel Ahmed and Shafiq Rasul... Guards would throw prisoners' Korans into the toilet 'as part of their clear policy to ...

Federal News Service, August 5, 2004 Thursday, PROGRAM TRANSCRIPT - RELEASED GUANTANAMO DETAINEES ALLEGE ABUSE (ABC RADIO, AUSTRALIA, 08:25 (GMT+11) AUGUST 05, 2004)... guards would throw detainees' Korans down the toilet and shave them, to try to get them to ...

IPR Strategic Business Information Database, June 28, 2004, THEY ALLEGE ABUSE BY U.S. CAPTORS... at Guantanamo. "They tore the Koran to pieces in front of us, threw it into the toilet," Vakhitov said.

BBC Monitoring International Reports, June 26, 2004, RUSSIAN TV INTERVIEWS FREED GUANTANAMO PRISONERS... bucket instead of a toilet. People were in cells, ... ... floor. (Vahitov) They tore the Koran to pieces in front of us, threw it into the toilet.

The Observer, March 14, 2004, Observer News Pages, Pg. 5, 5420 words, World Exclusive: Inside Guantanamo: How we survived jail hell: For two years the Tipton Three have been silent prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. Now, in this remarkable interview with David Rose, they describe for the first time the extraordinary story of their journey from the West Midlands to Camp Delta, David Rose... ... sleeping tents, copies of the Koran would be trampled on by ... ... occasion, thrown into a toilet bucket.

some more here

Oh yeah, almost forgot, here's a bloody bone for all the Christian fundamentalist spanking fetish wowsers out there to gnaw on and get all hot under the white hood about. Just to keep it "fair and balanced", if ya know what I mean.

Via Agence France Presse, November 17, 2004 | One die, 11 injured as Muslims clash in northern Nigeria | DATELINE: KANO, Nigeria:

Last Friday, Islamic extremists killed a Christian for defiling the Holy Koran in Bichi village near northern city of Kano.

Celestine Kwanda, from southern Akwa Ibom State was lynched by a mob in the village, some 40 kilometres (25 miles) north of Kano, for allegedly tearing a portion of the Koran to clean himself after visiting the toilet, state police commissioner Ganiyu Dawodu told AFP.

Kano, a predominantly Muslim city, is considered the hotbed of religious violence in northern Nigeria. Hundreds of people have died in the past years in Christian-Muslim unrest in the city.

In 1996, Kano erupted into religious violence following the beheading of a southern Christian, Gideon Akaluka, for defiling the Koran.

That's really great. A world full of sociopathic religious junkies running around hacking each others heads off and yanking each other up lamposts and wiping their asses with the pages from the other guys book of life. I'm sure God is simply delighted with each and every one of you stupid bastards. Way to go. What bloodsplattered God could ask for a more enlightened flock of damned fools.

What a world.


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