Friday, April 01, 2005

Bubble boy: Even the pundits are starting to notice! 

E.J. Dionne is a fragile flower, gentle and shy, and you must never be forceful with him, and you must especially not wake him from slumber. E.J. might have been the beau ideal for whom T.S. Eliot wrote the words: "Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind Cannot bear very much reality."

And even E.J. has become dimly aware that Bush only allows supporters into his, sorry, His Partei rallies (now taxpayer funded!) for the Republican Social Security phase out. (We've been yelling about this for over a year. God, this is hard work.) Let's quote some excerpts from E.J.'s latest piece of work:

If President Bush is so insistent on the need for his political adversaries to talk to him about fixing Social Security, then why does he keep throwing them out of his campaign rallies -- excuse me, "town meetings" -- on the subject?
(via WaPo)

Silly! Because to talk with Him is to agree with Him! Since Bush, being a Godly man, is Inerrant, those who do not agree with Him disagree with God; in fact, they're hardly human, let alone citizens! Get a grip, E.J.! Try to focus. I mean, eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. Look what happened when three Democrats liberals traitors subhumans untermenschen tried to enter a Partei rally:

Before the three could enter, they were stopped and directed toward "a man wearing a smiley-face tie," ... The man in the tie told them that the Secret Service was coming to see them. Someone "in a suit wearing an earpiece and a lapel pin" came along to say that "we had been ID'd" and "that if we had any ill intentions, we would be arrested and jailed." They were initially seated, she said, but the organizers had second thoughts and escorted them out.


According to the Secret Service, the man they spoke with was not a government agent but a local Republican volunteer.

Ah, those "over-zealous volunteers"... Creating blacklists, throwing traitors out of meetings with Him... Yet who can blame them, since He is Godly? But how very, very odd that E.J. doesn't identify these "volunteers" with the alternate civic authorities put into place by the KKK in the 1860s and by, well, who in the 20th Century... I know it will come to me... But let's continue with E.J.:

The Bush Social Security tour consists of strictly controlled political meetings similar in spirit to the authoritarian style....

"Authoritarian," forsooth?


Why oh why are you such a pussy?

Oh. I'm sorry. I meant to say such a fucking pussy. Why not just use the F word? Do you think the Partei will respect you in the morning because you don't?

... of Bush rallies during the 2004 campaign. ...

And if the president is serious about transcending partisanship, why does he taunt his adversaries at partisan rallies where the opposition is told to get lost by guys in smiley-face ties?

Oh, E.J., I'm so sorry. You've exceeded your daily quota of rhetorical questions!

Could it be... That Bush is not serious about transcending partisanship? Because The Partei is The Way, The Truth, and The Life?

But never mind about the rallies. The torchlight parade after is fabulous!

NOTE Notice, as the overly fastidious E.J. did not, the statement of the MBF who cleansed the Partei rally of untermenschen: "[T]hat if we had any ill intentions, we would be arrested and jailed."

So. Remind you of anything?

To the zealous volunteers, i.e. to the MBFs, i.e. to the base, i.e. to the Republican poll watchers and organizers and operatives and media whores in 2006 and 2008, thought crime isn't a fictional construct. It's a real crime that people commit, and should be arrested and jailed for. How very American! How respectful of the Constitution!

Oh, E.J. E.J. E.J. That quote is the real story, and you even had the quote. It's right in front of you and you can't or won't see it. Why oh why are you such a fucking pussy?

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