Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Of Manly Girls and Girly Men 

Remember when Anne Coulter (the Unity Valkyrie Mitford of the Beltway beerhall set) called Rich Lowry, and his bathtub splashers at the National Review, girlie boys? Remember? That was fun wasn't it?

In typical Ann Coulter style, she then called editor Rick Lowry a "girlie boy."

"Did you really say that?"

"I'd just as soon not relive this," she says, "largely because I do not want to look like I'm still making fun of them. Though they really deserve to be made fun of. But the reason so many conservatives were calling, emailing, sending love notes, after I called em girlie-boys, was because for years, you know, there was no Internet, there was no talk radio. National Review determined who was a good conservative and who wasn't. And like the little boy in the 'Twilight Zone' episode who could wish people into non-existence--have you ever seen that? There are like eight people on Earth left, and it's his birthday every day, and they all change the channels to whatever he wants to watch. That is the way National Review was using its power." ~ Capitol Hill Blue, "A Professional Smartass" - By John Bloom / Aug 11, 2003. cached link

Heh. Heh. Heh.

Well, now, anyway, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger - the Jolly Oaf of Hapsburg Lip - has stirred the excitable TVNewsNoise clack valves with stately tone changing denunciations of Golden State Dems as "girlie men" for allegedly pandering to "special interests"; whatever that means. The "girlie men" line, of course, being lifted from the old Saturday Night Live skit featuring two characters named Hanz and Franz. And, because, all the best lines from Schwarzenegger's August '77 Oui magazine interview had been perviously licensed to Jack Ryan for use in his Star Wars "nightclub" act. Like the zinger below where the Governor of California explains why California Democrats can not agree to manly good time Republican Partay state budget courtin' proposals:

just the guys who can fuck in front of other guys. Not everybody can do that. Some think that they don't have a big-enough cock, so they can't get a hard-on. see: Smoking Gun

Stupid stub-dicked special interest pandering "girlie men" Democrats! Sheesh. Is Gov. "Pump Me Up" intimidated by special interest girlies? Never! Is Mr. Olympia '72 afraid of being exploited by up-tight puritanical special interest snivelings! Never never never! Oh big-cock fuck-no never! When asked if he'd ever been exploited by prudish special interest pandering girlies Gov. Schwarzenegger responded:

"No, I'd feel used only if I didn't get something out of it. If a girl comes on strong and says, 'I really dig your body and I want to fuck the shit out of you,' I just decide whether or not I like her. If I do take her home, I try to make sure I get just as much out of it as she does. The word exploited therefore wouldn't apply." [...] "I can look at a chick who's a little out of shape and if she turns me on, I won't hesitate to date her. If she's a good fuck, she can weigh 150 pounds, I don't care." [via: Smokin Gun]

Jeepers. Obviously, the girlies in California's legislature need to work with Gov. Schwarzen-egger by appealing to his better instincts and earlier real world common sense experience. Perhaps they should preface each budget request with the precondition, "I really dig your body and I want to fuck the shit out of you." Why not? The Schwantzenegger does not care if you are a little "out of shape", as long as you are "a good fuck." And, afterall, isn't that what American "free market" enterprise and Declaration of Independence is all about?

Also, all this talk about how Gov. Schwarzenegger's "girlie men" comment is homophobic is like totally so-not true. So stop it! Gov. Schwarzenegger is not a homophobic clod. Gov. Schwarzenegger is not "freaked" out by sweaty, glistening, grunting, fag, I mean manly!, bodies, or anything like that. As a matter of fact the Governor has previously released the following statement in defense of fag, I mean gay! - gay stuff:

"Men shouldn't feel like fags just because they want to have nice-looking bodies...Gay people are fighting the same kind of stereotyping that bodybuilders are: People have certain misconceptions about them just as they do about us. Well, I have absolutely no hang-ups about the fag business..." [via: Smooking Gun]

You see. Bodybuilders and girlie men, I mean gay people!, i mean California State Democrat legislators!, have a lot in common. Governor Shcwarzenegger is not some scaly anti-girly men homophobian terminare lizard and he is not against homosexual business. He was just poking a little fun at California Dems who he believes are a little out of shape but wouldn't mind a good fucking anyway. So, everyone just relax, bend over the ab-machine, and let the Governor have his way.

...we had girls backstage giving head, then all of us went out and I won. It didn't bother me at all; in fact, I went out there feeling like King Kong. [via: Smoking Gun]

Thank God for Fay Wray. Without her King Kong would just be another pumped up monkey in a Hollywood hot-tub.

BTW: Wasn't the original Saturday Night Live skit that Mr. Schwarzenegger was aping, the one featuring the two bodybuilders Hanz and Franz, suggesting, well, uh, that both Hanz and Franz might be a tad self-absorbed, vainglorious, and perhaps even, touched by the moron fairy?

Hmmm.... maybe I'm just I being moronophobic. I'll have to work-out on that.


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