Friday, July 23, 2004

Did God provide Bush with faulty intelligence? 

Well, that headline can be subjected to various interpretions, but, what William Greider is wonderin' on, in this particular case, is as follows:

[snip] Not to risk blasphemy, but shouldn't a special commission look into whether God provided the warrior President with faulty intelligence? Recall that George W. Bush has confided to Bob Woodward that in shaping his plans for invading Iraq he relied on advice from a "higher father," not on Poppy Bush in Texas, the former President. Now we learn from advance news leaks that the 9/11 Commission has concluded from its investigation that it was Iran, not Iraq, that collaborated with Osama bin Laden's Al Qaeda terrorists before their attack on America. Oops. Have we gone to war against the wrong country? One assumes it was not the Almighty who confused the two nations. Maybe Bush suffered from a fuzzy connection in his prayer circuitry. So close to God, yet so distant from the truth. [snip]

GZS H Kee-Ryst! Is God's own deputy George W Bush scrambling cosmic decrees and communiques from on high? Could it be the Almighty is making a monkey of the maharajah from Midland!? Or, is something more sinister going on? Is it possible, could it be, that the Devil is playing tricks on our easily finessed messiah! Is God AWOL. Has the throne of 43 been led astray by Lucifer! Could it be that Tricky Dick Cheney is himself doing the Devil's bidding? Has Old Scratch, with help from his cunning legions of devilkin confederates, been ladling an ambrosial slurrylike soup of suppositions, conjectures, and cockeyed newt into Prince W's faith based remedy cup? Is it possible, that the entire time George W. Bush was babbling with God, he was for all common sense malefic purposes being duped by the Devil? And didn't even know it. Doh! Someone fetch the holy-shit water!

Hey, suppose the Devil himself, masquerading as God while cloaked as the wolfish Cheney, were feeding our gallant Biblical Innocent a wicked recipe of sulfurous cooked temptations and ultimate damnations. Shouldn't we convene (as Greider suggests) some kind of state sponsored ecclesiastical tribunal to flush the Demon from the wool? Hold an exorcism in some catechistical sub-committee chamber or, better yet, summon forth the inquisitor Lord Ashcroft of the Absolutes to lash both the the cloven Cheney and his bewitched hapless quarry to a post in the public square, heave on the kindling and the gasoline, and light the whole fasces up like the parched skeletal remains of a used Christmas tree?

Ya know, do some brush clearin'.

Plus, it would give the Bush Bible pounder base a chance to hoot and bellow and prance about around a cleansing bonfire on behalf of tough love, redemption through violence, and the greater glory of God. Think of it as a kind of preemptive strike at Satan. Bring your own beer.

Furthermore, what's all this bid'ness now about Iran's synergistic relationship with AQ and the 911 fiends? You mean to tell me - dang nabitt - oh shucks - sorry - that all this time the Iranians were the true doers and shakers behind the evil deedster reign of anti-Judeo Christian terror! Who misread that dispatch from the True Daddy? And how could our archangels of the hierarchia celesti, currently occupying the blessed folds of the House of Bush, have been so brazenly hornswoggled? Well, hell if I know. Unless, of course, it was all the work of the Devil. Is the Devil still holed up somewhere in an "undisclosed location" beneath the West Wing?

And, as an afterthought, where the hell did that provocateur in residence A. Chalabi git off to? Seems to have vanished like some kind of spectral mist. Hmm. Maybe that jumpy endtimer woodchuck celebritas Tim LaHaye can figure all of this out for us. I sure hope so.

In the meantime I'll be out gathering sharp stones and dry kindling with the flock.

His mistake is not a joking matter, of course. It may be the most egregious example of how Bush's pious self-assurance led the United States into an ill-fated war with colossal misrepresentation of the facts.

Read: An Error of Supreme Dimensions by William Greider - The Nation.


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