Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Worthy Of Note 

Jon Stewart returned to his alma mater, WILLIAM & MARY, to give the commencement address. My favorite part:

Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it.

Please don’t be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry.

I don’t know if you’ve been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize.

But here’s the good news. You fix this thing, you’re the next greatest generation, people. You do this—and I believe you can—you win this war on terror, and Tom Brokaw’s kissing your ass from here to Tikrit, let me tell ya. And even if you don’t, you’re not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don’t give the thumbs up you’ve outdid us.

We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui.

But obviously that’s the world. What about your lives? What piece of wisdom can I impart to you about my journey that will somehow ease your transition from college back to your parents' basement?

To find out what advice Jon has to give, read the whole thing here; the rest is just as rude, smart, and amusing.

As smart, but with a keener, rawer edge, and surely the most amusing reference to the Donner Party in years, DO NOT MISS Tresy's post below on the latest babbling from the pundit Brooks.

Alert reader Beth, in the excellent Comments section which you should also not miss, offers this excellence:

Shorter Brooks
The early settlers were heroes for going out West, ill-equipped and unprepared. Therefore Bush is a hero for sending American servicemen and women into Iraq, ill-equipped and unprepared

A Modest Suggestion:
Dear Mr. Brooks,
For an exciting and rewarding adventure, try jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. It might be scary at first, but never fear. Good old-fashioned American adaptability will save you long before you hit the ground.

Mustang Bobby has more on Brooks' historical analogies at Bark Bark Woof Woof.

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