Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Smarter Monkeys Please 

Dennis the dancing comedy monkey has joined the Bush-Cheney 2004 campaign fundraiser carney spin-show, The Fabulous Circ de Mensonges

Unofficial official sources close to an undisclosed junior administration official are reporting that a senior administration ringmaster close to Our Dear Leader has gifted said Leader with a new friend.

Mr. Karl - I mean, a senior Circ de Mensonges administration official - has reportedly arranged a new friendship between our Dear Leader, Commander Skybox Cowboy, and a performing celebrity comedy monkey named Dennis. The excitable comedy monkey, raised by a befuddled miller in a Hollywood fabliau, and trained to tell a ribald tale, will accompany Dear Leader as he makes his rounds of Bush-Cheney 2004 fundraisers, banquets, tent revivals, and corporate special event GOP shareholder meetings.

Dennis the comedy monkey will travel with his own handlers as well as the Dear Leader's brother Neil, two hookers from Hong Kong, and a pretty born again Bible juggler named Steve. Dennis will entertain fans by smashing sour Chilean grapes on his forehead and peeing into the audience while simultaneously dancing to the relentless grinding pulsing hurdy-gurdy rhythm of Mr. Karl's barrel organ.

Dennis will also be available for cable television news interview talk shows, barbequed rib eating engagements, and exclusive private parties in expensive hotel suites, arranged for and catered by Brother Neil, the two hookers from Hong Kong, and a pretty born again Bible juggler named Steve. Which sure beats being strapped to a gurney and having nail polish dripped onto your eyeballs, or being heaved into outter space aboard an Indian spy satellite. Or, maybe not.

Photos: top - Dennis the befuddled miller's comedy monkey.
bottom - Dennis, with handler, entertains visitors and accepts campaign donations at a Bush-Cheney 2004 barnburner near Long Beach, California.

For more information and monkey-show highlights, see: Miller Emerges as New Voice for Bush Re-Election

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